Bits & Pieces

Krang's quest for a body!

DUSTY PLASTIC HELL #4!!!

KRANG RETURNS in Dusty Plastic HELL #4! As we saw previously, the bodiless life just ain’t what it used to be… so Krang sets out to reclaim what was taken from him so long ago. How will he fare? Find out inside!  (7/20/04)

Shore Leave HO!

THE SHORE LEAVE REPORT!!!

The annual Shore Leave Sci Fi Convention took place on the weekend of July 9-11 (that’s the 9th through the 11th, not WTC day). Scary-Crayon was there! And now, we present our first ever con report. Check it out!  (7/14/04)

Who lives in a frying pan swimming with grease?

A RANDOM LUNCH #5!!!

Have you ever seen cheese that’s over a year past its expiration date, let alone eaten it? Scary-Crayon’s done both. See for yourself as year-plus-old cheese becomes an ingredient in A Random Lunch #5!  (7/9/04)

The Power Rangers meet the Ninja Turtles!

WHEN RANGERS MEET TURTLES!!!

Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers ruled the 90s, resulting in many arguments about which team was better and what would happen if they met. But they did meet. Now, Scary-Crayon reviews that historic crossover!  (7/6/04)

Oooh... swirly.

SNACK CAKE SUSHI!!!

In this latest Scary-Crayon food piece, we cut up snack cakes and turn the pieces over to make them look like sushi. Yeah, it’s been done before, but never like this… Also starring the cast of Okage: Shadow King!  (7/1/04)

A Crayon Haiku Farewell.

A Crayon Haiku Farewell.

In this installment of A Crayon Haiku, Scary-Crayon says goodbye to a longtime friend, the noble Duncan MacPhish of the Clan MacPhish, who recently passed on to that great fishbowl in the sky. Rest in peace, pal.  (6/27/04)

''Joan of Arc''

Crayon Poetry Corner #5!

In Crayon Poetry Corner #5, newcomer Jax pays tribute to the warrior saint Joan of Arc in a poem appropriately entitled “Joan of Arc”. By the way, Scary-Crayon thinks Leelee Sobieski is hot.  (6/27/04)

The true face of Pan...?

THE TRUE NATURE OF PAN…

We’ve all heard the story of Peter Pan, but if you’re like us at Scary-Crayon you’ve always found a few of the details to be slightly… unsettling… and with good reason. Read on to discover the true nature of Pan.  (6/23/04)

Happy Father's Day!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, SPLINTER!

This Father’s Day, Scary-Crayon takes a moment to honor one of the greatest fathers the world has ever known. So here goes — Happy Father’s Day, Master Splinter! Here’s to you, you radical rat.  (6/20/04)

Best Friend Colton!!!

BEST FRIEND COLTON!!!

Straight from the dollar store comes Best Friend Colton — the creepy poseable blue-eyed doll who shops at outlet stores and lusts after men from afar. Everyone should have a best friend like Colton!  (6/16/04)

''Vampire Salmon''

Crayon Poetry Corner #4!

These poems tend to be kinda dark, huh? In the fourth installment of Crayon Poetry Corner, Scary-Crayon keeps the trend alive with a number by Wes entitled “Vampire Salmon”. Vampire salmon??? Whatever…  (6/12/04)

A masterpiece!

A RANDOM LUNCH #4!!!

It’s time once again for culinary insanity on Scary-Crayon, but no random lunch has ever approached the greatness of A Random Lunch #4. So lick your lips and come on in! These ingredients ain’t getting any fresher…  (6/9/04)

A Crayon Haiku #14!!!

A Crayon Haiku #14!

In A Crayon Haiku #14, we take a look at… well, we’re not really sure what it is. Maybe you can tell us, eh? It appears to be in Japanese! Aaand we’re just rambling on here, really. Gotta fill space, you know.  (6/5/04)

Avert your eyes, children.

THRICE DAMNED, WE ARE.

Yep, Scary-Crayon dips into the Tartaran depths for the third time in this cover review of Oprah’s September 2003 issue. Now, with the Oprah-guided workbook, you too can learn to live your best life! Bloody hell.  (6/5/04)

Madballs: Escape From Orb!

MADBALLS: ESCAPE FROM ORB!!!

The fun-loving balls with the freakish faces return as Scary-Crayon reviews Madballs: Escape From Orb! Watch as the Madballs cast off the bonds of slavery and take to the stars in search of musical freedom.  (5/31/04)

Run, terrorist, run!!!

STUPID INTERNET ADS!

Stupid Internet Ads! You can’t escape ’em, but at the very least you can combat them with the knowledge gleaned from this Scary-Crayon commentary on a handful of recent trends and examples. Free food, anyone?  (5/26/04)

A Crayon Haiku #12!!!

A Crayon Haiku #12!

A Crayon Haiku #12 takes us back to the infancy of your favorite half-shelled heroes and mine, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What secrets will we learn about their origins? Read on to find out!  (5/22/04)

IMITATION CHEESE!!!

WHITEHALL SANDWICH SLICES!!!

The cheesy fun on Scary-Crayon continues as Splinter and Mummato explore the mysteries of Whitehall pasteurized processed sandwich slices, the imitation cheese that’s more than it seems…  (5/19/04)