Okay, apparently I’ve never paid much attention to these things before — did everyone else know that these awards are based on sales??? I just watched them present an award for the bestselling male artist in some category, as if that isn’t its own reward! Seriously, fuck that — they should give an award to the artists who didn’t sell shit, so then maybe those guys could get a little exposure and recognition too. Fucking popularity contest.

Oh, and who knows more about blood, sweat, and tears than the Osbournes? Probably some starving old musician playing NYC’s subway terminals who’s devoted his life to his craft and never came close to achieving the fame your husband garnered from biting the heads off of live bats on stage. Fuck you too, Sharon.