Bits & Pieces

The horror of A Crayon Haiku #46!

A Crayon Haiku #46!

It’s amazing what people will do in the name of fashion. Despite their better judgment, if a “qualified” person says something looks good, folks will go along with it no matter what. Case in point: A Crayon Haiku #46.  (2/16/06)

''The Street Fighter Code''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #76!

In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #76, the Street Fighters return to Scary-Crayon to spread their code for the benefit of all within earshot! Will Ken finally understand? Maybe a knock-knock joke will get the point across!  (2/16/06)

Triton's Chocolate Dipped Banana Bits!


For less than a buck, no less! In yet another review of an offering from the dollar store freezer, Scary-Crayon takes a look at Triton’s Chocolate Dipped Banana Bits. They’re the perfect V-Day treat for a gorilla girlfriend!  (2/13/06)

The LifeStyles Flavored Condoms Review!!!


It’s Valentine’s Day, minna-san — and in the interest of helping you to plan tonight’s bedroom activities, your old pal Wes has taste-tested several of LifeStyles’ flavored condom offerings. Read on for the full review!  (2/13/06)


Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #77!

More out-of-order Hot Flashes, because we can do that. In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #77, we revisit the subject of Brokeback Mountain with a new interpretation involving a budding love between two superheroes.  (2/10/06)

''Brokeback Mountain''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #75!

I don’t know what’s more shocking — the fact that this film actually came out of Hollywood or the fact that it’s actually garnering rave reviews and winning awards. IT’S A MOVIE ABOUT FREAKIN’ GAY COWBOYS! Unreal.  (2/6/06)

Poor Apple.


I actually got pissed off writing this article. Commercials should make me want to buy stuff, not blow up people — yet that’s exactly the effect that these recent commercials I don’t like very much had on me. Read on.  (2/5/06)

Wasn't there a Prince song about this?

A Crayon Haiku #45!

And we kick February off right with the 45th installment of A Crayon Haiku! Y’think you’ve got spam? Scary-Crayon’s got spam. A lot of spam. It’s unreal. We’ve apparently got quite a few unread messages, too. Go fig.  (2/1/06)

The Stale Cereal Wars!


And just before midnight on the site’s second anniversary, Scary-Crayon comes through with an epic piece entitled The Stale Cereal Wars! Which of the three ancient cereals sampled will come out on top? Find out within.  (1/25/06)

A perversion of soul food...?

A Crayon Haiku #44!

We couldn’t have an anniversary without featuring one of the original Scary-Crayon featurettes, could we? A Crayon Haiku #44 once again features an odd combination dish cobbled together in the late hours of the night.  (1/25/06)

It's flippin' time!


Leonardo’s just flipping for joy on Scary-Crayon’s second anniversary! In this comparison piece, we take a look at the Ninja Action Leo figures from the old and new TMNT lines and assess their flipping abilities.  (1/25/06)

''That's GROSS!''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #74!

On the site’s second birthday, Jax honors us with the guest comic that is Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #74! Because sometimes holidays at Scary-Crayon also bring illness and, well… very gross developments.  (1/25/06)

Peter Jackson's King Kong, reviewed!


Well, we finally got around to seeing Peter Jackson’s King Kong remake. Read on for the official Scary-Crayon review of this unnecessarily long and pointless film that could’ve been summed up in a single sentence.  (1/23/06)


Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #73!

One of the few things most people have in common is having had a friend who would screw almost anything that moves. As such, maybe you can relate to the flashback depicted in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #73!  (1/23/06)



Yes, last Friday was Friday the 13th — but here it was also FREE FOOD DAY as two local joints offered cost-free lunchtime treats to the masses. How good is free food, you ask? Join Wes in his quest to find out!  (1/18/06)

''He's got your 'toasted' right here.''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #72!

Surely you’ve seen the recent Pop Tart ads featuring giant, living pastries and their failed attempts to avoid being eaten. These are the saddest commercials ever. But not so in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #72!  (1/18/06)

Looks... appetizing.

A Crayon Haiku #43!

It’s just like old times in A Crayon Haiku #43, as we check out another Scary-Crayon dessert undertaking that didn’t exactly work out as I’d planned. I imagine that it tasted like kissing a smoker wearing chocolate lip gloss.  (1/11/06)

Chun-Li will suck your blood!


It’s true: Colonel William F. Guile and friends are back in this “Street Fighter: The Animated Series” episode review! And yes, kids, that’s Chun-Li as a vampire. She’s so evil. And skanky. And I think she’s kinda gay…  (1/11/06)