Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #56!

I’ve gotten more than a few strange spam e-mails in my day, but none quite so odd as the message that inspired Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #56. I mean, the subject line alone is just… well, see for yourself.  (11/6/05)

A Crayon Haiku #34!

These are always fun, aren’t they? It’s time for yet another installment of that acclaimed diversion that’s been with us since the beginning, A Crayon Haiku! In #34, we check out some new faces that look oddly familiar.  (11/3/05)

CRAYON SONG PARODY #2!

Cover your ears — Crayon Song Parody #2 is coming to a MP3 player near you! Assuming you download the file and listen, that is. Today’s parody is entitled “April” and is sung to the tune of The Rolling Stones’ “Angie”.  (11/3/05)

Five SCARY 39¢ Halloween Cards!

And on the spooky holiday itself, Scary-Crayon brings you even more Halloween-themed entertainment with The Five SCARIEST 39¢ Halloween Cards! Want to know what makes a card scary? Read on… if you dare!  (10/31/05)

THE DPH HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!!!

Prepare yourselves, ’cause the claymation kid is back — and this time he’s ready for a Halloween adventure! Hop on board the fright train with Gumby and Scary-Crayon for Dusty Plastic HELL: The Halloween Special!!!  (10/29/05)

FLIGHTPLAN: AN AUDIO REVIEW!!!

So I recently saw Jodie Foster in Flightplan and hated it so much that I decided to talk about how much I despised the film for over 27 minutes. Seriously. Listen for yourself in Scary-Crayon’s first audio film review!  (10/27/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #55!

Prehistoric gods rule the earth once more as the Primal Rage combatants return to Scary-Crayon in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #55! But instead of battling the Turtles, this time they encounter… the living dead.  (10/25/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #52!

And all is right with the world as Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #52 finally makes its perverted appearance! On the other hand, maybe this comic is decisive proof that all is not right with the world. You be the judge…  (10/21/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #54!

Place your bets, kids, ’cause it’s Raphael versus The Yeti in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #54! And why the hell is Raph battling a yeti, you ask? Probably the same reason Leo’s facing off against a freaking T-Rex.  (10/18/05)

Protégé de la Rose Noire, Part 2!

And now, Scary-Crayon presents the second and final part of our Protégé de la Rose Noire review! Watch in awe as the random and seemingly pointless stuff from the first part actually proves useful in the final battle.  (10/15/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #53!

Hey, it’s Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #53! And shouldn’t we be on #52? Yes! But sometimes we like to post out of order. Anyway, perhaps you’ve heard about the snake that ate the alligator! This is the prologue.  (10/11/05)

Protégé de la Rose Noire, Part 1!

Yes, Virginia, that guy is dressed up as Robin — and that’s hardly the craziest thing that Protégé de la Rose Noire has to offer. Insanity and violence abound in the first of this two-part Scary-Crayon film review!  (10/7/05)

HELL NOOOOO NURSE!

In a time of sickness and disease, Scary-Crayon boldly asks, “Where have all the sexy nurses gone?” Join us as we explore the discrepancies between the ideal nurse and the sad reality in Hell Nooooo NURSE!  (10/4/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #51!

And we’re kicking off October with a new Hot Flash from the Dusty Plastic HELL! In this comic, we check out the forgotten SNES game Tuff E Nuff for a look at desperation moves in the apocalyptic distant future.  (10/4/05)

SPIDER-MAN IS GROSS.

Look out — here comes the Spider-Man! And come he does, spewing semen all over NYC and its citizens. In this article, we examine the evidence for and implications of the disturbing reality that Spider-Man is gross.  (9/30/05)

BEWARE THE SURVEY BEAST.

Lacking employment and lacking funds, young Wesley braved the infernal realm of paid surveys to make some money for Scary-Crayon. Succeed he did — but at what cost? The paid survey path is paved with terror.  (9/27/05)

WELCOME TO FUTURELAND.

It’s time for another Scary-Crayon book review! Step into Walter Mosley’s Futureland, a collection of sci-fi tales that deal with race in the immediate future. There’s quite a bit of serious commentary in this one, too.  (9/22/05)

Tales of Seduction by U-Jin, Part 3!

In the final installment of our Tales of Seduction by U-Jin review, we see a love quadrangle involving two workers, their boss, and his daughter — and the return of Toyama no Benbei! I wouldn’t read it at work, though.  (9/19/05)