Bits & Pieces

DPH: HF #45 -- Come on in; the water's fine...

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #45!

Man, what happened to summer being a time for fun and relaxation? Recent news reports would have you believe otherwise! So here's Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #45, based on recent events in Florida. Be careful...  (6/30/05)

A Crayon Haiku #32!

A Crayon Haiku #32!

And it's time for another digression into the land of things strange and gross with A Crayon Haiku #32! Seriously, if you can't stand the sight of RED RED BLOOD, this one's not for you. Don't say I didn't warn you!  (6/23/05)

DPH: HF #44 -- The Terrible Panda Seal.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #44!

Beware, inhabitants of the frozen corners of the earth, for the TERRIBLE PANDA SEAL reveals itself in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #44! You may think that it's cute, but the panda seal feeds on... well, you'll see.  (6/23/05)

Happy Father's Day, M. Bison!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, M. BISON!

It's (almost) Father's Day, which means it's time for another Scary-Crayon tribute piece! This year's honoree? M. Bison! True, Bison didn't even have any kids, but he was still a father in more ways than one.  (6/18/05)

''Wander Drunk After Four''

Crayon Poetry Corner #12!

Unless you're under 21 or a teetotaler, you probably know what happens when you drink a long island iced tea. Do you know what happens after quickly gulping down four of 'em? Find out in Crayon Poetry Corner #12!  (6/13/05)

The White Bone

IN SEARCH OF THE WHITE BONE.

Alright, class, it's book report time! Here, Scary-Crayon reviews Barbara Gowdy's The White Bone, a sad and thought-provoking novel about a herd of African savannah elephants in search of a mystical artifact.  (6/10/05)

DPH: HF #43 -- Get it?

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #43!

In this latest clever comic, Scary-Crayon gets down with the Devil! Get it? Read Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #43 and you will! In the meantime, here's a hint: Being "down" can mean more than one thing, you know.  (6/6/05)

DPH: HF #42 -- Not EVERYONE...

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #42!

Apparently, according to certain t-shirt slogans, it's now hip to be Jewish! In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #42, Wes meets a cute girl wearing a shirt that proclaims her love for Jewish boys. Alas, Wes is not one.  :/  (6/2/05)

A Crayon Haiku #31!

A Crayon Haiku #31!

Well, how's that for a coincidence -- on the 31st day of May comes the 31st Crayon Haiku! Have you ever been out for a walk and felt like you were being... watched? Well, that may have been the case! Pups are vigilant.  (5/31/05)

''This is not a poem.''

Crayon Poetry Corner #11!

Or not! 'Cause this piece is definitely not a poem. Even though it's Crayon Poetry Corner #11. See the title? "This is not a poem." Who are we to argue? Btw, we'd lose that argument. It's not a poem! Set it to music.  (5/27/05)

DPH: HF #41 -- Well, I tried.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #41!

Coming up with amusing content isn't always easy (as you can probably tell from all of the unfunny stuff on the site!), but somehow Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #41 emerged from the dearth of my creativity. Enjoy.  (5/25/05)

Muppets don't belong in Oz.

MUPPETS DON'T BELONG IN OZ.

The Muppets are making a comeback -- and with Disney running the show, it won't be long until Kermit and friends are back on the top! Unless they keep turning out shit like The Muppets' Wonderful Wizard of Oz, that is.  (5/23/05)

Scary-Crayon samples Pup Corn!

THE FLAVOR OF PUP CORN...

Have you ever wondered exactly why dogs go crazy for dog treats? Scary-Crayon has! To that end, then, Wes ventures to partake of Pup Corn, the low fat, low calorie peanut butter-flavored dog treat. And the verdict is...  (5/18/05)

A Crayon Haiku #30!

A Crayon Haiku #30!

I don't know what to think about advertising anymore. First McDonald's asked customers to do obscene things with burgers, and now Wendy's... ugh, I can't say any more. Find out in A Crayon Haiku #30. Bloody hell.  (5/18/05)

Angels like shoes.

ATHENA AND THE ANGEL...

When Athena's boyfriend died, she resigned herself to a melancholy life of mourning -- and then, one stormy night, an angel crash landed on her balcony! Learn to love again in the Scary-Crayon review of Lavender.  (5/16/05)

A DPH Friday the 13th Hot Flash!

IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH AGAIN!!!

And much to the horror of superstitious folks everywhere, Scary-Crayon's got a special FRIDAY the 13TH Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash! to celebrate this most ominous of hell-idays! Mr. Jones, the floor is yours.  (5/13/05)

''Why are you running?''

Crayon Poetry Corner #10!

Not long ago, I saw a pretty woman jogging through my neighborhood. Her appearance raised a few questions, so I decided to write about it in Crayon Poetry Corner #10! Is the ending some kind of metaphor?  (5/12/05)

A Crayon Haiku #29!

A Crayon Haiku #29!

With the sun shining and green things growing, it sure feels like spring to me! But apparently not everyone's aware of the recent change in seasons, as we see in A Crayon Haiku #29. Or maybe he's protesting?  (5/10/05)