Bits & Pieces

So easy to look at, so hard to define.

SARAH JANE’S NEW CLOTHES!!!

Mickey Glitter is back with more funky fashion analysis in Sarah Jane Smith Fashionista Fever! Part Two — in which we see that Sarah actually developed a sense of style in the company of the Fourth Doctor. Rejoice!  (7/18/08)

Nice collar, Sarah Jane.

SARAH JANE LOVES CLOTHES…

…and Mickey’s more than up to the task of critiquing her various outfits in the first installment of Sarah Jane Smith Fashionista Fever! How did Sarah Jane go from fashion boring to fashion funky? It all started here.  (6/27/08)

Life without the Doctor is Hell.

IF THE DOCTOR DIES, SO DO YOU

In “Turn Left” of “Doctor Who” Series 4, we see a future in which the Doctor died in 2006 — and given how many alien threats he’s thwarted since then, it’s not surprising that things kinda suck. So does this episode.  (6/27/08)

The Sarah Jane Adventures Drinking Game!

DRINKING WITH SARAH JANE!!!

Thirty years after her stint with the Doctor, Sarah Jane Smith returns in “The Sarah Jane Adventures”! And to make an enjoyable program even more fun, we’ve created a drinking game you can play while you watch.  (4/11/08)

That'd look great atop a Christmas tree, eh...?

GEORGE AND THE XMAS STAR!!!

George and the Christmas Star — the story of one man’s quest to retrieve the Star of Bethlehem and stick it atop his Christmas tree — is the official favorite holiday special of Scary-Crayon. Read our review to find out why!  (1/1/08)

Trini is awesome.

BOY MEETS WORLD…

…and the greatness of Trini! Our latest Spectare review is mostly a critique of “Boy Meets World”, but we also pay tribute to Topanga’s quirky best friend… who appeared in all of two episodes. And look! Video clips!  (8/26/07)

I wish this would transform into a better movie.

ROBOTS IN DISGRACE.

Transformers. Robots in disguise. Heroic Autobots battle evil Decepticons in a million-year war to decide the fate the universe. How do you screw up a premise like that? Michael Bay and company pulled it off.  (7/11/07)

Awesome scenes from Shadow: Dead Riot (!!!)

SHADOW: DEAD RIOT IS GREAT

Scary-Crayon keeps the horror coming with this review of and spotlighted scenes from Shadow: Dead Riot. By the way, this article is totally not safe for work, as it contains pictures of breasts and fondling. Enjoy.  (10/17/06)

Frank Sudol's City of Rott

FRANK SUDOL’S CITY OF ROTT

With Halloween being just around the corner, we figured it was about time for a zombie film review — and how could we go wrong with a gore-filled, animated zombie movie? Um… enter Frank Sudol’s City of Rott.  (10/2/06)

Hip Hop Locos...

HIP HOP LOCOS IS AWFUL.

If you’ve ever wanted to experience a night on the town with two pot-smoking thugs who say “ey” and “esse” and “holmes” about eight billion times per sentence, Hip Hop Locos is the film for you! I despised this movie.  (8/7/06)

YO! There's... Donatello?!?!

TMNT: THE NEW SERIES!!!

Okay, so it’s in its fourth season and thus isn’t all that new anymore, but here’s Scary-Crayon’s review of the current show. Then, while examining 4Kids’ DVDouble Shots, we check out the new Shredder’s first appearance!  (4/3/06)

Oh boy, another underdeveloped character.

X3: THE TRAILER REVIEW.

More X-Men on Scary-Crayon! Unfortunately, their arrival is not as welcome this time around, as all indications from the X-Men 3: The Last Stand trailer suggest that the film is going to suck even worse than the first two.  (3/16/06)

She sees the future.

THAT’S SO RAVEN RACIST.

Yes, “That’s So Raven” is a terrible show, but at least it’s harmless, right? Wrong. Welcome to the Black History Month episode, in which Raven champions racist hiring practices while making a total ass of herself.  (2/28/06)

Poor Apple.

RECENT COMMERCIALS I DISLIKE.

I actually got pissed off writing this article. Commercials should make me want to buy stuff, not blow up people — yet that’s exactly the effect that these recent commercials I don’t like very much had on me. Read on.  (2/5/06)

Peter Jackson's King Kong, reviewed!

PETER JACKSON’S KING KONG!!!

Well, we finally got around to seeing Peter Jackson’s King Kong remake. Read on for the official Scary-Crayon review of this unnecessarily long and pointless film that could’ve been summed up in a single sentence.  (1/23/06)

Chun-Li will suck your blood!

THE STREET FIGHTERS RETURN!!!

It’s true: Colonel William F. Guile and friends are back in this “Street Fighter: The Animated Series” episode review! And yes, kids, that’s Chun-Li as a vampire. She’s so evil. And skanky. And I think she’s kinda gay…  (1/11/06)

A 28 minute Flightplan audio review...?!

FLIGHTPLAN: AN AUDIO REVIEW!!!

So I recently saw Jodie Foster in Flightplan and hated it so much that I decided to talk about how much I despised the film for over 27 minutes. Seriously. Listen for yourself in Scary-Crayon’s first audio film review!  (10/27/05)

Protégé de la Rose Noire, Partie Deux!

Protégé de la Rose Noire, Part 2!

And now, Scary-Crayon presents the second and final part of our Protégé de la Rose Noire review! Watch in awe as the random and seemingly pointless stuff from the first part actually proves useful in the final battle.  (10/15/05)