...now holds the record for the fastest toy I have managed to break after removing it from the package: a whopping two (2!) seconds. That said, I hope you weren't planning to read a favorable review! This one ain't. (3/1/09)
I don't even listen to the radio, but it has been my extreme misfortune to have overheard Beyoncé's awful new song, "Diva," multiple times during the past week. What makes it so bad? Oh ho ho... just keep reading. (2/15/09)
APRIL, THE NINJA NEWSCASTER!!!
Yes, April O'Neil was an ace reporter... but she was also a skilled warrior! Yet while April, the Ninja Newscaster's got the moves to stomp the Foot, she could clearly use some extra training when it comes to fashion. (2/2/09)
A Crayon Haiku #118 through 120!
It's Elisabeth Sladen's birthday, so we just had to write a few celebratory Crayon Haiku! One, anyway. Another does have Sarah Jane and K-9... but the third has nothing to do with Lis whatsoever. It's morphin' time. (2/1/09)
In 1987, while traveling through London town, I discovered the greatest coloring book ever. Now, over a decade later, it is my extreme privilege to share the magic and awe of Scary Faces with you. You are not ready. (1/26/09)
It's true: Mickey Glitter has returned with a new installment of Sarah Jane Smith Fashionista Fever!... wherein we see the culmination of young Sarah Jane's cumulative fashion growth. Perfection, thy name is Andy Pandy. (1/25/09)
Besides the folks whose trademarks are being infringed upon, who doesn't love knockoff toys? If you raised your hand, we bet the Courageous Righteous Bootleg Turtles will change your mind! They're so... amazing. (1/25/09)
A Crayon Haiku #111 through 117!
Let's count: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven -- SEVEN haiku! Ah ah ah ah ah. Yes, A Crayon Haiku #111 through 117 are here! Today is also Scary-Crayon's fifth birthday, so there's even a baby picture therein. (1/25/09)
A Crayon Haiku #108 through 110!
It's a haiku triple-threat on this historic Inauguration Day! Perhaps Joe Biden was right about enemies moving to test President Obama, since the Legion of Doom grows stronger by the day. Be very afraid... (1/20/09)
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #107!
Like the kids' song says, the Hulk is green green green... except when he's grey. And red! In today's comic, we visit the land of the Hulks for a closer look at Hulk interactions. Have I mentioned how much I hate BAFs? (1/20/09)
Should you choose to click this link, you'll find a scathing review of the worst and most vile television program I have ever seen. EVER. Also, there are screencaps, so this article probably isn't work safe. Ugh. (1/12/09)
A Crayon Haiku #104 through 107!
Multi-haiku madness returns with four more 5-7-5 syllable offerings! Dollar store pies, open laptop surgery, and toys, wonderful toys are among today's featured topics. Gotta love those post-holiday clearance sales, eh? (1/12/09)
But given that the Madballs' 1980s heydey saw scores of spherical pretenders to the gross-out crown, the recent appearance of the Squirtdevil is arguably an encouraging sign. And for $1 wannabes, they're not half bad! (1/5/09)
In the first Crayon Haiku of 2009, guest writer Jax returns with a post-holiday comment on a fun turkey substitute for vegetarians! But then again, maybe not. Alas! Take heart, vegetarian friends -- there's always tofurkey. (1/5/09)
A Crayon Haiku #98 through 102!!
Yes, it's finally happened -- Scary-Crayon has crossed the 100-haiku threshold! Join Chun-Li(s), Skeletor, the rubber band ball and friends, and Spider-Man and the Human Torch as they mark this SC milestone. (12/30/08)
A Crayon Haiku #89 through 97?!
A Crayon Haiku ups the 5-7-5 value with a whopping nine installments packed onto a single effin' page! The Legion of Doom is back with a new member, but Wonder Woman is also on the scene... as are many others. (12/3/08)
A Crayon Haiku #86, 87, and 88!
It's a haiku triple-threat with A Crayon Haiku #86, 87, and 88 -- all rolled into one compact package! If you're looking to read about toy-related injuries and TV shows in 5-7-5 syllable format, this is the featurette for you. (11/27/08)
When it comes to poseability, Revoltech figures are tops -- and guest writer Sixshot shows us that the Yamaguchi Series #50 Gurren Lagann is no exception. But whereas Trix are for kids, this fig is for collectors only. (11/19/08)























































