Yes, you read that right — today’s rather uncharacteristic Scary-Crayon piece attempts to discover the nature of clean Christian comedy. Am I the only one who didn’t know this subgenre existed? And what’s with the Christian love for Star Wars? I find it especially interesting given that Jedi has become a competing religion. Oh, and there are no cursewords and some cute jokes in this piece (well, I think they’re cute…), so bring the kiddies! And if somehow one of the performers finds his/her way here, thanks for an intriguing show. Keep up the clean Christian work, I guess!

GAMING’S 5 WORST FIGHTERS!!!

Video gaming’s, that is, and we’re talking characters, not games. Join Scary-Crayon and a handful of other “humor” sites as we present our choices for The 5 Worst Fighting Game Characters! Todo totally sucked.  (11/14/05)

Yep, Scary-Crayon once again takes part in a multi-site collaboration piece with The 5 Worst Fighting Game Characters! We’ve even got a bonus haiku at the end, so um enjoy and stuff. As noted in the article, we weren’t the only participants, so be sure to check out the four other pieces linked at the end. That’ll do it for this update, then!

By the way, how do y’all feel about Gooooooogle ads? I’m extremely hesitant to put them on the site — that’s how it starts, and you know how I feel about ads… — but I’m thinking they wouldn’t be too bad if I kept them on the sidebar and at the bottom of the articles, next to the donation link. Just wondering. Anyway, ja!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #57!

Not to be confused with the similarly titled article in the Misc. section, Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #57 asks, “Where’s April…???” But if you want to learn where Miss O’Neil has gone, you’ll have to read on!  (11/11/05)

Nowhere near as ambitious as the last Hot Flash of a similar nature — but still hopefully kinda funny — Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #57 is concerned with the whereabouts of everyone’s favorite Channel Six news reporter (and no, I’m not talking about Vernon here). It’s got alternate endings and a larger, bonus image, so be sure to check it out! I think Raph’s got a valid point.

A RANDOM LUNCH #10!!!

After a lengthy absence, unorthodox midday meals return to Scary-Crayon with A Random Lunch #10! I’m not really sure we can call this a meal, but it is random. And it was consumed around lunchtime. So there.  (11/9/05)

It’s been a really long while since we’ve had one of these, but it’s time once again for another installment of A Random Lunch! This time, Space Hoppin’ Raphael and Donatello face off against Darth Vader and the temptation of the dark side, resulting in probably the most awful tasting Random Lunch yet. Enjoy.

Also, overly attentive readers with extremely good memories (or those inclined to scroll down the list of Foodstuffs pieces) will recall that the last Random Lunch was #8 — and that, therefore, the 9th Random Lunch is MIA. Also, sometime last year, the 6th Random Lunch was also skipped. IS THERE SOME MEANING TO THESE OMISSIONS?!?!? Probably not, but you’re welcome to chalk them up to signs of the coming of SKELEGORE, whose appearance was prophesied way back in Where’s April??? Part 2. At any rate, someday I’ll get those Random Lunches up — along with others that I photographed but hadn’t yet numbered and never got around to posting — so… yeah. Same goes for the conclusion of Krang’s Dusty Plastic HELL saga. Someday…

But probably not next time. See you then, though!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #56!

I’ve gotten more than a few strange spam e-mails in my day, but none quite so odd as the message that inspired Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #56. I mean, the subject line alone is just… well, see for yourself.  (11/6/05)

It’s been a while since your old pal Wes has appeared in a comic, but here I am again in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #56! And while it might seem funny, the actual spam e-mail on which it is based is no laughing matter — but it is plain wrong. Sure, I’ve gotten tons of spam messages with images, and lots of them have contained pretty lewd content, but this was a genuine charity e-mail, as one of the things Mercy Ships does is remove tumors and stuff for people who can’t afford the operations. Great. But don’t send me unsolicited photos of people with five pound tumors on their faces (and goodness don’t click that link unless you’re prepared to be grossed out). It’s one thing to bug me with perverted shit I probably don’t want; it’s another thing entirely to try to guilt trip me into donating money by making me want to vomit. I mean it actually mentions that the thing has a “putrid stench” — fucking disgusting.

Incidentally, I drew up the comic based on the subject line alone, since I didn’t view the e-mail until afterwards, out of curiosity. If I’d looked at it first, I probably would’ve been too busy cleaning spew out of my keyboard to draw the Hot Flash. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

A Crayon Haiku #34!

These are always fun, aren’t they? It’s time for yet another installment of that acclaimed diversion that’s been with us since the beginning, A Crayon Haiku! In #34, we check out some new faces that look oddly familiar.  (11/3/05)

CRAYON SONG PARODY #2!

Cover your ears — Crayon Song Parody #2 is coming to a MP3 player near you! Assuming you download the file and listen, that is. Today’s parody is entitled “April” and is sung to the tune of The Rolling Stones’ “Angie”.  (11/3/05)

Hi everyone, and welcome to NOVEMBER! Hope you had a happy Halloween and stuff. Anyway, to kick off the new month on Scary-Crayon, we’ve got a couple of new pieces for you: A Crayon Haiku #34 and Crayon Song Parody #2! Rah.

As noted in the haiku, I happened upon those necklaces at Target — in the 50% off $1 bins (making them 50 cents each) — so if you’ve got a Target nearby and want to try for one, it’s worth a shot. Also, the one on the left isn’t technically a Madball. I forget the name of the actual line it’s from — if it was part of one at all — but it’s pretty much a bootleg Madball, making its necklace counterpart a double bootleg. Speaking of Madballs, we once reviewed the Madballs ‘toon Escape From Orb and The Madballs History of the World jokebook, so give those a look if the subject interests you.

And then there’s the second Crayon Song Parody, “April”. In the interests of speed, file size, and minimizing torture, I sped up my singing slightly, which has the effect of making it sound a little better and getting it over with much more quickly. It doesn’t really sound like Michelangelo — I don’t think I’m capable of pulling off a very good Mikey impersonation, let alone while “singing” — but as indicated by the images that accompany the article, one might imagine a dejected Mike belting out the song. Side note: The most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met happened to be named April, so I sort of imagined myself singing the song to her. Granted, she was way too beautiful and perfect to ever think of me as being anything other than beneath her, so I’d never have had to sing a song like this to her, but in the event that she did deign to give me a chance I imagine we would’ve parted for similar reasons. My eyes used to glaze over and my mouth would turn into a squiggly line thingy whenever I ran into her on campus, though. She was absolutely stunning.

Come to think of it, I’ve never met an April who was anything less than remarkably attractive. I wonder if the name predisposed me to liking them, since I’d had a crush on Miss O’Neil since childhood? Aaaand this is getting far too personal, so we’re done. Ja ne, minna-san!