HIP HOP LOCOS IS AWFUL.

If you've ever wanted to experience a night on the town with two pot-smoking thugs who say "ey" and "esse" and "holmes" about eight billion times per sentence, Hip Hop Locos is the film for you! I despised this movie.  (8/7/06)

HOMEMADE DALEKS: PART 1

Dalekmania continues on Scary-Crayon with a rare arts 'n' crafts feature: Genesis of the Homemade Daleks: Part 1! Join us for one (mostly) kid-friendly method of creating a 3" Dalek. In part 2, we'll explore another!  (7/26/06)

YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!!!

Readers beware -- the Daleks have returned! This time, Scary-Crayon reviews three games featuring everyone's favorite salt shaker-shaped cyborg mutant things. Also, it is forbidden to dump bodies into the river.  (7/17/06)

STRAWBERRIES + EGGS = 666

No, we're not dead -- but given the events documented herein, our survival may surprise some readers. Curious? Read on to learn about the monstrosity born of the unholy combination of strawberries... and eggs.  (7/12/06)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #84!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #84 is intended to be more of a commentary on nerd identity and behavior in general, but I focused the dialogue on Superman because of the recent release of his latest film. Yes yes yes.  (7/12/06)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #83!

I don't know about you, but "conversations" like the one depicted in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #83 fucking make my head hurt. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF THESE KINDS OF STORIES??? I hate my life.  (6/27/06)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, BK BOSS!!!

And no, that doesn't stand for Burger King! For this year's annual Father's Day tribute, we honor Buraiking Boss -- the principal protagonist of the Casshan animes and the 2004 live action film. All hail Buraiking!  (6/18/06)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #82!

And Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #82 marks the first appearance of DALEKS on Scary-Crayon. Don't you wish you lived in a stylish hydrant thingy with shiny balls and lasers and outdated speech software? I do.  (6/11/06)

CHINESE-CANADIAN IMPORTS!!!

Chinatowns often contain trange things, but obscure used games are not typically found there... except in Canada. In this article, we review three import PSX games uncovered during a 2002 trip to our Northern neighbor.  (5/25/06)

A Crayon Haiku #51!

I can't read Japanese text, but that doesn't stop Eastern robots from sending me spam in their native language! At least I think it's spam. Why not have a look at A Crayon Haiku #51 and tell me what you think, eh?  (5/18/06)

COSMOPOLITAN IS TERRIBLE.

Here at Scary-Crayon, we occasionally come under fire for reviewing things that weren't meant for us, but that hasn't stopped us yet! Today, our proud tradition continues with a look at the February 2002 issue of Cosmo.  (5/18/06)

STREET FIGHTER II, PC STYLE!!!

At long last (!!!), Scary-Crayon examines several early PC incarnations of Street Fighter II. Sure, these games look like the Capcom classic, but how do they compare in the gameplay department? Read on to find out!  (5/8/06)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #81!

The evil Shredder welcomes the opportunity to crush his enemies in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #81, but does he possess the necessary equipment for dispatching his reptilian foes? His buddy Hun isn't too sure...  (5/8/06)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #80!

After catching Silent Hill the other night, I had the pleasure of chatting with one of its most impressive stars: Pyramid Head. Check out our brief interview with this fashionable monster in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #80!  (4/27/06)

"Hazel Wheatkettle's Dying Wish"

It's been quite a while since we've had a so-called literary offering on Scary-Crayon, so here's a short story I wrote a while back: "Hazel Wheatkettle's Dying Wish". We post all kinds of things on the good SC, yes we do.  (4/20/06)

A Crayon Haiku #50!

Although computer programs and subsequent program upgrades have simplified a number of tasks that were previously more difficult and time-consuming, sometimes subtle interface changes lead to confusion.  (4/16/06)

4+1 SCARY 39¢ EASTER CARDS!!!

In what's becoming a holiday tradition on Scary-Crayon, we take time out this Sunday to look at four utterly terrifying 39¢ Easter cards and an additional offering from outside the Christian section. It's scary stuff.  (4/16/06)

STREET FIGHTER JENN!!!

We've seen Capcom's brawlers take on the SNK crew, but have you ever wondered how Chun-Li would fare against Mortal Kombat's Mileena? Back in the day, a game called Street Fighter Jenn allowed us to dream.  (4/6/06)