Bits & Pieces

Red Lobster's Hidden Treasure Pack #1!

PLAY IT AGAIN, RED LOBSTER!!!

By popular demand, Red Lobster and friends return for one final Scary-Crayon review with the fabulous first issue of the Red Lobster Hidden Treasure Pack. Will we ever see Red again? It's up to you! Details inside.  (1/25/05)

DPH: HF #16 -- BRAiNS at the door!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #16!

It's true, it's true -- Bacardi is back, and he's brought a friend! In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #16, Barrel of Nightmare Before Christmas fame greets our bowwow buddy with a brand new knock-knock joke.  (1/21/05)

A Crayon Haiku #20!

A Crayon Haiku #20!

Enter A Crayon Haiku #20, drawn and conceived by Wes during another awful night of work at the bookstore! It's also got an Event Horizon reference, for those of you who find those kinds of things amusing.  (1/18/05)

DPH: HF #15 -- Sounds like a plan.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #15!

In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #15, Leonardo faces off against a Tyrannosaurus Rex... but really, what sense does that make? These two should be friends, not foes! Alas, some things are worse than fighting...  (1/15/05)

''Bacardi in Wonderland''

Crayon Poetry Corner #8!

Dog lovers rejoice! Scary-Crayon plays the kawaii card, bringing the loveable Bacardi into the crayon madness in "Bacardi in Wonderland", a rhyme about the little dog's visit to Wes's cluttered room. He'll be back!  (1/12/05)

The Christmas with Gumby conclusion!

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 4!

At long last, Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review comes to a close with this review of "Gumbasia". Join Gumby and Pokey as they search for toys and explore their sexuality. Gumby's parents are here too!  (1/8/05)

A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year!

A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year!

As they say, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! But what the hell is so goddamned happy about it? Mummraph and Donacula ask that very same question Scary-Crayon's first feature of 2005 -- A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year!  (1/3/05)

The TRUTH about Santa Claus...

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.

Yeah, Christmas has come and gone, but it's never too late to learn the TRUTH. Here, Scary-Crayon shares the true origins of Santa Claus... suffice it to say that he wasn't always the jolly old elf we know and love.  (12/31/04)

A Crayon Haiku #19!

A Crayon Haiku #19!

It's been a while since we had one of these, eh? After a two month hiatus, the Crayon Haiku featurette returns with its 19th edition! WARNING: This haiku is pretty gross. It's gross squared! It's 144. It's work safe, though.  (12/26/04)

A Dusty Plastic HELL HOLIDAY Hot Flash!

A D.P.H. HOLIDAY HOT FLASH!

Happy holidays, one and all! In this special holiday edition of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash, we wish you just that (those?) -- happy holidays. Nothing special, really. Hope you're feeling better than Wes is.  🙁  (12/25/04)

DPH: HF #14 -- Have a very scary Christmas!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #14!

Apparently last time's mischief wasn't sneaky enough, as Wes's mom discovered his "improvements" to her Nativity scene. What happened, you ask? Find out in the very festive Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #14!  (12/25/04)

More Christmas with Gumby...

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 3!

Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review continues as Gumby and Pokey venture into Pigeon in a Plum Tree and ruin yet another potentially good book through their meddlesome ways. It's kinda depressing.  (12/25/04)

DPH: HF #13 -- What's wrong with this picture?

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #13!

Given the holiday season's focus on Christmas -- which supposedly celebrates the birth of Christ -- Nativity scenes are standard fare among holiday decorations. Here, Wes adds his special touch to his Mom's display.  (12/21/04)

Christmas with Gumby continues!

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 2!

In the second segment of Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review, Gumby's MIA and Santa is sick! Who ever could fill Santa's boots and get those toys to the good little children of the world? Read on to find out!  (12/20/04)

Christmas with Gumby!

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 1!

With shapeshifting powers and the ability to enter books, Gumby was pretty bizarre -- but Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review unearths even stranger truths about the guy. Where's Freud when we need him?  (12/17/04)

DPH: HF #12 -- ALPHABETICAL. BY. AUTHOR.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #12!

Few things are worse than crazy housewives with nothing better to do than sit around reading tacky romance novels that may or may not star vampires. What could be worse than that, you wonder? Just ask Wes.  (12/6/04)

How to write a 50,000 word novel in a month

How to write A 50,000 word novel...

...in a month! In this piece, Wes imparts some of the tips he picked up during National Novel Writing Month so that you too can pen a 50K+ word novel in thirty days or less! Of course, nobody said it would be good...  (12/6/04)

DPH: HF #11 -- A Masochist's Wet Dream, No. 1

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #11!

Featuring the Chatterer of Hellraiser fame, the eleventh edition of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash is entitled "A Masochist's Wet Dream, No. 1". Scary-Crayon bets you can't think about this short without cringing.  (12/1/04)