Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #22!

To counter Oprah's bullshit, Koyu and Rugi step foward in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #22, to offer some real advice to help women look 10 pounds thinner. Why the hell do people keep listening to that harpy?!  (2/19/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #21!

In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #21, it's back to the bookstore for more wacky adventures in the world of retail! Here, Wes encounters a rather well-endowed customer... and let's just say that DDs aren't easily ignored.  (2/17/05)

A Valentine's Day Crayon Haiku!

Happy Valentine's Day from the Turtles and the Scoobies! And Scary-Crayon, of course. For this V-Day Crayon Haiku, we scanned two cards from our collection of valentines and wrote stuff under them. We <3 you, btw.  (2/14/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #20!

On this day of luv, Scary-Crayon summarizes Harold and Maude, in which 20-year-old Harold meets 79-year-old Maude and proceeds to fuck her. The beauty of the film can't be captured in six frames, but we tried.  (2/14/05)

A Crayon Haiku #22!

This four-part installment of A Crayon Haiku takes us back to those easy, breezy days of childhood, when things were simple and a small toy leopard with paper taped to it was as good a Jagwar toy as any. I <3 you, Jagwar.  (2/2/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #19!

FINALLY... Bacardi has come BACK (!!!) to Scary-Crayon. He's a bit stumped in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #19, though, as he can't guess the answer to Eve L.'s joke! But then, Eve's always had an odd sense of humor...  (2/2/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #18!

By popular demand, that wacky duo consisting of Kain and Wild Boar Alien returns once again to Scary-Crayon in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #18! Marvel at the wisdom imparted in their psuedo-philosophical dialogue.  (2/2/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #17!

In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #17, we find Baxter Stockman about to seal the deal with April O'Neil (dig the rhymey goodness!)... but folks who've seen The Fly know why that can never happen. NOT WORK SAFE.  (1/30/05)

A Crayon Haiku #21!

In A Crayon Haiku #21, Scary-Crayon welcomes a new little friend to the fold! Okay, so Ramses has been with us a while, but this is his debut appearance on the site. Hurrah for Ramses! Hurrah for bargains, too.  (1/30/05)

Happy Birthday, Scary-Crayon!!!

To commemorate Scary-Crayon's first year, we've got a special tribute piece. In addition to fun images, prose, and haikus from readers and pals, learn the "meaning" of the site's name! Hurrah for useless trivia!  (1/25/05)

DO THE HULK STOMP, ALRIGHT!!!

Scary-Crayon's first music CD review takes us to a very scary place as we rock out with the Hulk and his friends in Hulk's self-titled album! Listen in awe as Captain America plays the bass for the delight of little children.  (1/25/05)

A RANDOM LUNCH #8!!!

Kain and Wild Boar Alien return to Scary-Crayon with a vengeance in A Random Lunch #8! Unable to escape their destiny, they once again face off against the horrors of cheesy grahams. In comic format, too!  (1/25/05)

PLAY IT AGAIN, RED LOBSTER!!!

By popular demand, Red Lobster and friends return for one final Scary-Crayon review with the fabulous first issue of the Red Lobster Hidden Treasure Pack. Will we ever see Red again? It's up to you! Details inside.  (1/25/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #16!

It's true, it's true -- Bacardi is back, and he's brought a friend! In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #16, Barrel of Nightmare Before Christmas fame greets our bowwow buddy with a brand new knock-knock joke.  (1/21/05)

A Crayon Haiku #20!

Enter A Crayon Haiku #20, drawn and conceived by Wes during another awful night of work at the bookstore! It's also got an Event Horizon reference, for those of you who find those kinds of things amusing.  (1/18/05)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #15!

In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #15, Leonardo faces off against a Tyrannosaurus Rex... but really, what sense does that make? These two should be friends, not foes! Alas, some things are worse than fighting...  (1/15/05)

Crayon Poetry Corner #8!

Dog lovers rejoice! Scary-Crayon plays the kawaii card, bringing the loveable Bacardi into the crayon madness in "Bacardi in Wonderland", a rhyme about the little dog's visit to Wes's cluttered room. He'll be back!  (1/12/05)

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 4!

At long last, Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review comes to a close with this review of "Gumbasia". Join Gumby and Pokey as they search for toys and explore their sexuality. Gumby's parents are here too!  (1/8/05)