Bits & Pieces

Bloody hell.

LEARN SOME NETIQUETTTE, F00!!!

In this didactic offering, Leatherhead and Donatello go over a few netiquette rules that everyone who browses the web should know. You’d think they’d be obvious… but apparently not everyone does. Think, that is.  (9/24/04)

What horrors lurk in A Random Lunch #7???

A RANDOM LUNCH #7!!!

The talking action figures make a triumphant return to Scary-Crayon in A Random Lunch #7! Join Leatherhead, the Turtlebot, and Foodstuffs veteran Wyrm as they combine edible ingredients in eldritch ways.  (9/20/04)

A Crayon Haiku: Times Square Toys ''R'' Us Edition!

A Toys “R” Us Crayon Haiku!

After taking a week off to check out NEW YAWK CITY, Scary-Crayon returns with A Crayon Haiku: Times Square Toys ”R” Us Edition! It’s a quick look at the store’s interior. With haikus! And the jawsome T-Rex.  (9/14/04)

A Crayon Haiku #16!

A Crayon Haiku #16!

In A Crayon Haiku #16, Skeletor gets reacquainted with some old friends from the 80s — or so he thinks. Once the truth is revealed, how will he react to these unfamiliar faces? There’s only one way to find out!  (9/3/04)

''The Licker''

A RESIDENT EVIL 2 POEM!!!

In preparation for the upcoming release of Resident Evil: Apocalypse in theaters, Scary-Crayon’s got another tie-in feature — Crayon Poetry Corner: Resident Evil 2 Edition. Join us as Wes immortalizes the licker in verse.  (9/3/04)

Tonight I dine on TURTLE SPEW!!!

Tonight I dine on TURTLE SPEW!!!

Shredder’s always craved turtle soup, and tonight he’ll finally get to eat… wait, that’s not soup! And there aren’t any turtles in it. But it is green. And delicious. And alcoholic! It’s Turtle Spew!!! Come get some.  (9/3/04)

THE SANDWICH THAT PETRIFIES THE GODS.

CONSIDER THE GODS PETRIFIED.

Yes, Virginia, even the gods get scared sometimes. And lo! Scary-Crayon’s culinary research team has discovered one such source of divine terror in THE SANDWICH THAT PETRIFIES THE GODS. It’s bloody amazing.  (9/3/04)

A Crayon Haiku: Resident Evil 2 Edition

A RESIDENT EVIL 2 HAIKU!!!

Lots of them, even. The second Resident Evil film doesn’t hit theaters until next weekend, but in the meantime you can check out Scary-Crayon’s tribute to the second game in A Crayon Haiku: Resident Evil 2 Edition!  (9/1/04)

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET???

THE 5 FUNNEST GAMES EVER???

In Scary-Crayon’s first contribution to a multi-site article (details within), we take a moment to honor five video games worthy of being called the “funnest” games ever. Hey, I didn’t come up with the title.  (8/27/04)

The cactus owns you.

NAKED BLOOD: THE FULL REVIEW.

Scary-Crayon is pleased to present this review of one of the finest examples of Japanese cinema we’ve ever had the pleasure of watching: Naked Blood. Really. We’re not being sarcastic here. The movie f’n rules.  (8/23/04)

the frozen drink that walks like a doughnut...

Krispy Kreme’s “Doughnut” Drink…

Krispy Kreme’s been around since 1937, but the frozen drink that walks like a doughnut is a fairly recent creation. I think. It’s reviewed here, along with a bonus review of the Caramel Kreme Crunch! It’s, uh… kremey.  (8/18/04)

A Crayon Haiku: FRIDAY the 13th Edition!!!

A FRIDAY the 13th CRAYON HAIKU!

It’s FRIDAY THE 13TH, that time when Jason Voorhies returns to thwart the sexcapades of teens everywhere. And that’s exactly what happens in this special edition Friday the 13th Crayon Haiku. Or is it?  (8/13/04)

ARE YOU MAKIN' FUN OF ME???

THE CAMPFIRE STORIES REVIEW!!!

Friday the 13th is synonymous with horror, so it’s only appropriate that Scary-Crayon review a scary movie to mark the occasion. In Campfire Stories, an insane forest ranger spins three terrifying yarns. That suck.  (8/13/04)

Red Lobster's Hidden Treasure Pack!

RED LOBSTER HAS RETURNED!!!

That’s right — Red Lobster’s back again for more fun book… uh… fun! This time, Scary-Crayon reviews the Red Lobster Hidden Treasure Pack, Vol. 18. So if you don’t know how to play “Predator”, you will soon.  (8/9/04)

THE PEANUT BUTTER BANANA BURRITO EXPERIMENT!!!

THE PB BANANA BURRITO EXP!!!

For those of you not up on abbreviations, the “exp” above stands for “experiment”. The “PB”? PEANUT BUTTER! Scary-Crayon’s Peanut Butter Banana Burrito Experiment begins NOW. Ol’ Rafiki knows what it’s about.  (8/3/04)

''A Vicious Yellow Cycle''

Crayon Poetry Corner #6!

GIMME A BEAT! For Crayon Poetry Corner #6, Wes dips into beatnik territory with a new piece entitled “A Vicious Yellow Cycle”. So dim the lights, grab a cup o’ joe, and let us entertain you hip cats for a spell.  (7/27/04)

MEE-OWR!!!

HALLE BERRY *IS* CATWOMAN!!!

In this illustrated piece, Scary-Crayon relates the story of Halle Berry, the Oscar-winning actress who later went on to star in what is quite possibly the worst superhero movie ever. Excuse my vitriol, please.  (7/24/04)

A Crayon Haiku #15!!!

A Crayon Haiku #15!

A Crayon Haiku #15 is nothing special. It’s very simple. Perhaps too simple. Is some secret meaning lurking in its shimmering, artery-clogging visage? Oh ho ho! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! But don’t inhale.  (7/20/04)