Hey, all! Quick update on what’s been and will be happening with the site.

First, if you haven’t been following Scary-Crayon on tumblr, please do so! I’ve been comparatively prolific on there when it comes to posting images — mainly action figure photos — and occasionally I have something brief to say about a film I’ve just watched or some other observation. Scary-Crayon also has a Facebook page, so feel free to like us there, too.

So I know we’ve been pretty lite on content lately — hopefully (and I know I always say that) that will change soon! Among other things, we’re going to be in attendance at the San Diego Comic-Con, which means awesome daily coverage assuming that everything acts right with the laptop and wi-fi and stuff. AWESOME. (more…)

And following another unexpected delay (sigh), we’re back with a review of Marvel’s The Avengers. I was a kinda disappointed with it, honestly. More in the review, but it seemed like for everything it did right — or at least every “cool” nugget — there was something it did wrong, and the things it did wrong occurred on a more substantive level. I suspect some folks out there would blast me for actively searching for flaws in the film. And yeah, that’s true — I was looking for them, just as I was looking for things to like about it. I tend to watch movies with an eye to evaluate them on all levels, and I’m not one to cover my eyes and stick my fingers in my ears (or devise my own theories to resolve issues that weren’t sufficiently explained in a movie/show/etc.) when I find something that doesn’t gel. That’s just me.

But that’s not necessarily you, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be at all down on The Avengers — as I note in the review intro, I suspect most readers of Scary-Crayon will enjoy it immensely. For an alternate take on the film, check out this review by Jeffrey K. Lyles.

Also, admittedly, this is probably a movie I’d enjoy more on DVD after I fished it out of the $5 bin at Walmart (or, even better, a cart at Dollar Tree). It’s legitimately flawed, but somehow those flaws are less bothersome to me when I didn’t pay $12 for a ticket — and when I’m not noting them in a theater filled with cheering, clapping people. Like, many of the one-liners were amusing, but they certainly weren’t substantive — so they weren’t the kinds of things I’d walk out of the movie quoting and discussing and referencing endlessly as if they actually made the movie significantly better for their inclusion. And while there were a few really good ones, most of the lines were hardly hilarious, so it was a little annoying to hear the theater erupt into raucous laughter in response. At moments, watching The Avengers in a crowded theater reminded me of watching a sitcom, and I generally despise sitcoms. The reason is this: if a joke in a show falls flat and there’s no laugh track, it’s not irritating — it’s just another throwaway line of dialogue and (unless it’s really bad) I forget about it. But if the joke doesn’t work and it’s punctuated by five seconds of yukking, as is the case in most sitcoms, it’s fucking stupid.

Anyway, yeah — thanks for reading; leave a comment if you like. See you next time, which will hopefully be sooner rather than later!

I meant to post this yesterday, but here it is — a review of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1. It’s a fantastic film and you should watch it as soon as possible.

In other news, our “Todd & The Book of Pure Evil” DVD giveaway ended last week — I’ve notified the winners and will be mailing their prizes very soon. (Hopefully once they receive them, we’ll be able to hear a little something from them.) I’m admittedly a little disappointed in how it went, though. The article and blog post didn’t appear to receive any fewer views than any other new entry on the site… but apparently folks didn’t read the text or found the entry methods too bothersome because only two people entered! Lucky for them and easy for me, since that made them the winners by default, but yeah. Nobody even entered by following SC on tumblr (so I still have an extra “Todd” Season 1 DVD set to give away via other means).

So if you’re reading and have something to add, feel free to give us some feedback about what you might have preferred from a contest. Do you hate Facebook and/or tumblr? Dislike leaving comments? Were the instructions unclear and/or too lengthy? Were you simply uninterested in the prize? (Or if you’re new to the site and didn’t see the contest, let me know what kind of contest prizes and/or entry methods would appeal to you.) Really, I’d appreciate anything you have to say on the matter. I’d like to do more contests, and I want them to be events that readers find appealing!

Thanks, folks. See you next time!

And we’re back with more blog content! Today’s feature, which comes to us from Andrew Perry of Poker Junkie, is a review of Poker Night at the Inventory. It’s a game I’d never heard of until very recently, but one that will probably appeal to a lot of you netizens out there! Anyway, enough from me — let’s hear what Andrew has to say about it.

If we told you about a poker title that has only one form of poker to play, most of you would immediately go elsewhere. Instead, we are going to tell you about a poker title that allows you to get cussed out by Tycho from Penny Arcade. Interested? If so, you should check out Poker Night at the Inventory.

Poker Night at the Inventory is a poker title released by Telltale Games for the PC and Mac that pits you against several popular characters from games and the web. You get to play in an underground poker game at a secret club called “the Inventory” against the aforementioned Tycho — as well as the Heavy from Team Fortress 2, Strong Bad from Homestar Runner, and Max from Sam & Max. (more…)

More content so quickly?! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE??? XD

Yeah, I was obviously inspired to mock up the poster that comprises Dusty Plastic HELLside #34 by the recent controversy over Michael Bay’s revelation that the Ninja Turtles in the 2013 movie will be “from an alien race.” I admittedly don’t have a whole lot to say about the matter (ha ha, of course I do), but I will say this — that’s completely stupid. Not because it’s inherently or necessarily stupid, mind you; I’ll grant that it is entirely possible to tell a great story about four alien creatures who touch down from outer space and just happen to know martial arts. But that story won’t be the story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and there’s absolutely no good reason to go about making such radical changes to their origins. (more…)

That said, as seen below, I was planning to make Celestia pink here, as I used the toy as my reference when drawing up this comic. The cool thing about flood fill coloring, though, is that it’s super easy to implement color changes on a whim! 😉

So yeah, here’s another quick HELLside comic — this one featuring the aforementioned pony princess but otherwise in keeping with the theme of these strips as of late. I think we’ll go back to action figures for at least the next couple of comics… and then who knows? Also, in the last comic and this one, you might’ve noticed that I dropped the word balloons in favor of naked text with a line to designate the speaker. The drawings themselves are fairly simple, and I found myself thinking maybe the word balloons didn’t mesh as well with that style. I doubt it really matters to readers either way (I have a tendency to overthink things!), but if you do have any feelings about the change I encourage you to share them. Feel free to comment on anything else about the comic as well! Hopefully you find the joke less offensive than Celestia did…

Anyway, that does it for this post. Remember to enter our “Todd & The Book of Pure Evil” contest if you haven’t already (you’ve got through Monday, March 26, to do so; we’ll be giving away three “Todd” Season 1 DVD sets), and stay tuned to Scary-Crayon!

I probably should’ve saved that title for a comic that’s actually about HEAT — which I anticipate, seeing as how we’ve had the warmest winter I’ve ever experienced and it’s already hella warm in the middle of March — but whatever. Here’s Dusty Plastic HELLside #32, which is totally not about heat at all in that it is not terribly exciting. Honestly? I wanted to do something in keeping with the sad/rejected author avatar theme, and I kinda liked the “not even to save the whales” line. Don’t ask me why. 😛

So yeah, that’s that! I should have another similar comic in the next few days. See you then! And don’t forget about the “Todd & The Book of Pure Evil” contest we’re running — you’ve got through next Monday to enter!

Hey, folks! So here’s a new Spectare review — a commentary on “Todd & The Book of Pure Evil” Season 1. As noted in the review, you can buy the set on Amazon… or you can win one right here!

Yep, the good folks at Foundry Communications sent me a review screener — along with three copies to give away via a promotional contest of sorts. So we’re going to do this three ways. (more…)

So it probably comes as no surprise to SC readers that I remain strongly attached — and you might even say loyal to — my childhood toys. As in, the actual toys I owned when I was a kid. There are probably collectors who would replace their old, played-with toys with collector-grade or MOC versions, but not me. For me, the fact that I owned and played with that very toy when I was a lad is probably the most important part of its appeal.

Which isn’t necessarily to say that I want that toy to always remain in the condition it ultimately ended up in as a result of our years together. I do, admittedly, have an aversion to restoring my childhood toys in some respects — with the exception of certain details, I would never repaint a childhood toy, and I largely leave the scuffs and marks they’ve accumulated over the years. These I regard as sort of being akin to an old soldier’s scars: just as they serve as reminders of the battles the soldier has fought long after he himself has forgotten the details, these marks are part of the toy’s history. And sometimes I do remember the source of those marks, and so observing those “scars” trigger memories of great TMNT/Batman crossovers and towers made of children’s encyclopedias and injuries incurred by the Batmobile’s engine missile (that thing fired with force) that I might otherwise find myself unable to access.

But while some of my figures also ended up broken during those play sessions, I do find myself wanting to fix them now — probably because I’ve always wanted to fix them. As a child, I wasn’t quite as concerned with articulation, and when limbs broke off I’d reattach them with krazy glue or my own super-sticky mixture of tacky glue and tissue paper. When glue failed, I constructed elaborate wraps and casts made of scotch and double-sided carpet tape to secure those detached limbs to the bodies of their owners.

Since I started customizing, however, I’ve learned more sophisticated methods of fixing action figures. But while I’ve used those methods to repair numerous broken current figures and custom fodder, I hadn’t actually used them to fix my old toys. (more…)

Hey, guys! Sorry about the hiatus — more content on the way, I promise. I always promise that, I know, and I always mean it. But yeah.

So, Toy Fair 2012 was last week in NYC. I didn’t get to go, but like a good little toy enthusiast I was rabidly following the reveals online… and I didn’t post coverage here because it’s not like there weren’t already a million sites reposting the same pics and whatnot! But now that it’s all over and done with, I do want to talk a bit about which products I’m most anticipating… in addition to whatever other scattered thoughts come out as I write this. I’ll organize my comments according to the toylines and/or properties to which they refer. (more…)

Today’s comic — Dusty Plastic HELLside #31 (!) — actually isn’t among the new and upcoming content I’ve been touting for the past several days/weeks/months… but it popped into my head tonight so I drew it up real quick like. Like so many “funny” things I come up with (and like so many comics to come, I suspect), it stemmed from a Facebook status message and my response to it.

Anyway, I haven’t got much else to say here — I think the comic is pretty self-explanatory! But visit this link (preferably not while at work or within an hour of eating) if you require clarification.

Anyway, stay tuned — there’s lots more to come! XD

Ugh, that’s not what I meant.

So I got kinda sidetracked with the promised content for the last two days — my 30-minute “errands” have turned into multi-hour slogs through adjacent cities and whatnot — but there’ll be more soon, seriously! Here, have a preview of something I found today and will be reviewing in the near future.

Even though I got this set on clearance for $3, I think it’ll merit a full review — each Cutant deserves at least a paragraph. The one I truly feel for, though? Pigwich. That thing is so lucky the Polly Pocket girls are perpetually dieting.

Oh, and I made a tumblr for Scary-Crayon! Not really sure about the extent to which I’ll be using it, but I’ll at least be plugging new content and stuff in the hopes that people will spread the links around and maybe get us five new readers or something. I might also synch it up with the blog with respect to really brief entries. Who knows! And you can ask me questions on there and stuff, I guess? Anyway, yeah, that’s there.

(I feel like such an old fuddy-duddy with all this newfangled social media stuff I really don’t understand. :P)

So. MORE TO COME! Stay tuned, people.

Little late with this — and I’ve still got another entry I meant to post; I’ll put that up sometime today (Friday) — but here’s Post-Xmas 2011 Clearance Purchases (Part 1)! Who knows when I’ll get around to Part 2. Probably fairly soon, but the problem is that I’m still finding great spillover clearance buys… so it’s like, do I stop here or roll this entry over to Part 3? And how long should this post-Xmas clearance purchase time run, anyway? It’s certainly got to extend at least a week past the New Year (which still includes a handful of purchases). But, after that, am I finding post-Xmas clearance purchases or just regular anytime clearance purchases? YOU SEE THE THOUGHT I PUT INTO THESE ARTICLES?!?!?!

*Ahem*

Hey, while we’re at it, MORE BLOG-EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! Remember that Pony Tails review I posted a while back? Well, I mentioned in that piece that I’d only seen Strawberry Vine and one other pony from the line (a baby pony; her review is still on the way), but since then I acquired this one as well! I wouldn’t call this a true clearance purchase — I think I got her for 25% off or something — but I just thought I’d share. At first I thought her cutie mark was the same, but it’s actually different… so there goes my brilliant plan to name her “Strawberry Vine II.”

Also, this pony was hella sticky and greasy right out of the package — more in line with what you’d expect from a knockoff. Washing her with soap and water fixed that problem, but you know how I feel about greasy toys. Had Strawberry Vine come out of her plastic prison feeling like that, I’d have had significantly fewer positive things to say about the line. So… yeah. I still kinda recommend it, but BUYER BEWARE!

And that’ll do it for this entry — keep enjoying YEAR NIIIIIIIINE of Scary-Crayon! More soon. XD

That’s right — it was on January 25, way back in 2004, that Scary-Crayon first officially opened its virtual doors to you mad Internet folk! We’ve had some hiccups and hiatuses along the way, but we’re still here and still committed to continuing to bring you crazy content, however frequently or sporadically it happens. Even if there’s only one article a year (and there will always be more than one article a year; just saying), as long as I live Scary-Crayon will endure.

Hope I haven’t jinxed myself there.

Anyway! This is only the first of several pieces intended to “celebrate” Scary-Crayon’s continued existence — I’ll have a couple more things to post tomorrow and maybe another for the weekend (if not then, definitely early next week) — but we’re going to kick things off today with this review of Fantasy Land. Like other children’s coloring and/or activity books we’ve reviewed in the past, there’s definitely something off about it… and in true Scary-Crayon form, we highlight that to the fullest by going completely overboard with our interpretation. I could be wrong — this is the Internet, after all — but I dare say this is the only page on the Internet where you’ll find a smiling unicorn attempting to eat from a tree that bears severed pig heads instead of fruit. (more…)

(Remember how I mentioned the possibility of blog-only features in the last entry? Consider this a test run for one of those. 😛 Let me know what you think in the comments!)

So, this past Sunday I attended a toy and collectibles show at the Maryland State Fair in Timonium, MD. I’m writing about here because I originally intended to do an actual article about it — with photos of the show and whatnot — but forgot my camera in my car. And it was cold, and I ended up parking at least a half mile from the convention, so I didn’t relish the idea of walking all the way back to the car just to get the camera. And without photos, I don’t feel like it can be a proper article… and I kinda feel like rambling, so this probably won’t be as “structured” as an actual article (I do try to structure them somewhat, you know). So, yeah. Blog-exclusive content! (more…)

It’s been a while — but we’re finally back with a new article in 2012! It’s another toy review, but this one’s actually not exhaustively technical… probably because there’s not a lot to say about the Cutsie Pets Glam Gal & Pup set on a technical level (no really involved sculpting or paint, complex articulation to discuss, abundant accessories, etc.). And I tried, perhaps too hard, to be funny (and perhaps not hard enough not to come across like a weirdo freeeeak). Let me know if you laughed (and/or found yourself very, very frightened).

Welp, yes. New content soon! I’ve also been wondering about changing up the format of SC, or at least making more content “exclusive” to the blog — if only because it seems like people these days are more inclined to read shorter posts and comment when they don’t have to click an additional link to do so. I’m also thinking I’d like to have more video content, though I do not want to go the route of technical video toy reviews since I think video is the absolute worst format for those kinds of reviews. (I would be more inclined, however, to post three-minute videos of me cracking jokes about a toy or praising its merits in a largely superficial manner.) But it just seems like SC appeals to a certain kind of reader, and I’d like to broaden its appeal (a little) in the hopes of attracting more readers and maybe getting some (very) small measure of Internet fame/fortune out of the site. But we’ll see, and please let me know if you have any thoughts. 😉

And seriously, more content to come very soon! Stay with us.

Or I guess it’s not obligatory, since we’ve probably skipped it in years past — but here we are today with a few holiday pics in the extra-specially numbered Dusty Plastic HELLside #XM2011. The first pic takes its inspiration from Kristen Stewart’s explanation of Christmas, where she replaces frankincense and myrrh with Frankenstein and (a) Mer-Man, respectively. I didn’t have any gold from Jared’s, so I made due with Ranger Gold. 😉 And then the other two images are just holiday cards! I kinda wanted to do something red-and-green themed and this seemed obvious (and a whole lot less gross than the approach I took years ago) considering the Lantern toy onslaught of the past year. And with ponies being my latest obsession… yeah.

So, see you next time! Still have the cake and pony articles in the queue, but they might actually be overtaken by some other exciting content to come. STAY TUNED!

And happy holidays, everypony. 🙂

I’m usually way late to the party when it comes to Internet memes and such — so it’s only appropriate that Scary-Crayon’s first Forever Alone comic is set at a party at which I arrived way late. Last weekend I attended a shindig at which the depicted encounter took place. (Though admittedly it’s a bit exaggerated here for comic effect, and nobody’s really intended to look like anyone present except yours truly.) At first I just thought the guy was being (oddly) complimentary, but the more I think about it — and judging from how the women in attendance reacted — I think it was actually a subtle, clever, and successful attempt to make me look like a conceited jerk (not that I need help to come across as an asshole) and thus make himself appear even more attractive to said women by contrast. Sort of a “Brutus is an honorable man” deal, except even more devious because it manages to place the words in Brutus’s own mouth as if he’d said them first.

It does seem like a technique that could backfire if the women take the speaker to be gay, but experience has taught me that (most) women who already find a guy somewhat attractive will completely ignore the possibility of him being attracted to men. (I knew a girl in college who was dating a guy who skipped about in rainbow sneakers — metaphorically speaking — and she was hurt and shocked when he finally came out of the closet and broke off the relationship. All I could say to console her was, “Duh.”) There’s probably an effective parry, too, but I imagine you’d also run the risk of coming across as an asshole in implementing it. And, admittedly, this is probably the kind of technique that one doesn’t need to break out at all — it seems like something that would work best only when the guy implementing it is already guaranteed victory. It’s probably the equivalent of killing an opponent with Chun-Li’s taunt in the Street Fighter Alpha games.

It’s also entirely possible that I’m reading way too much into this interaction — perhaps intentionally, for my own amusement and subconscious justification purposes. Still, it gave me something to ponder and an excuse to toss an entry into the overflowing putrid slopcauldron of Forever Alone material… so, yeah. I win at something. 😐

Next time, ponies. And/or cake. Seriously.