It’s been a while since we had a full Spectare summary and review, so here goes — the first of a special three-part Tales of Seduction by U-Jin extravaganza! Naturally, given that this is a hentai review, viewer discretion is advised. You could probably get away with viewing it at work (as far as graphic content goes, there’s only an exposed breast or two), but I have to say that so you can’t blame me if your boss fires you for reading about creepy and perverted songwriters who stalk little girls and fly into murderous rages at the sight of certain overweight women. Yep. And if you think that’s bad, stick around for the second and third parts… ’cause believe it or not, it gets worse.

By the way, it occurs to me that you could keep abreast (a-breast! ha ha!) of updates to Scary-Crayon by subscribing to the blog’s RSS feed! Just a suggestion, yanno. 😉

Seeya next time, minna-san! As always, comments are encouraged. Ja!

So with Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #46 I wanted to do something related to George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead (f’n great, go watch it) — and given that when I wasn’t pondering the meaning of the allegorical elements on screen I was saying to myself, “Goddamnit, why is that zombie hot!?!?” I guess this just kinda came out. And oddly enough, when I went to IMDb to snag the direct link to the film’s info page, I saw that the actress who played zombie Number 9, Jennifer Baxter, is currently enjoying front page publicity! And apparently she’s also in Dark Water with the lovely Jennifer Connelly… which means I may have to go see that too. Hmmm…

Anyway, speaking of Romero’s Land, I recently wrote a guest opinion of it alongside Malicious Bitch (I’m not insulting her; that’s the name of the site!) film critic Becky in a special She Said/He Said review, so feel free to check that out as well! Stick around to read the other reviews in Becky’s A Fool’s Gesture column while you’re at it — and if anyone asks, tell ’em Scary-Crayon sent ya. 😉

So — if you’ve got any comments about Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #46 or Land or zombie/horror films in general, you know what to do!

Next year, anyway, because today’s holiday has come and just about gone — but that doesn’t mean you can’t still read about dollar store turkey franks and snack cakes! And really, who needs Independence Day for celebration, anyway? I mean, if the holiday is supposed to symbolize our liberation from jolly old England, why should our festive joy remain bound to the observance of a mere calendar day? Eat turkey franks every day, by gum! Little Debbie cakes for breakfast! The revolution had better be televised, ’cause I’m not moving from my couch and I’ll miss that shit if they don’t put it on the tube and I’d rather watch a DVD anyway!

Er… yeah. Hope you had a happy holiday, everyone! Seeya next time. 🙂

I’m pretty sure I started talking about this thing a year ago, but THE SCARY-CRAYON BLOG is finally open. Hurrah! So let’s talk a bit about what we’ve got here and what to expect.

Foremost, after successfully running the program on my personal domain and growing to lurve it, the SC blog is powered by WordPress (currently version 1.5.1.3; additional technical info can be found in the box at the bottom of the sidebar at right). Also, given that this is the first blog post, you may be wondering where all of these other posts came from! Remember the Site Talk block that used to adorn the content pages? I actually saved every blurb ever written in there, so now that old text has been chronicled in the archives of the new blog. Not that anything truly substantial got mentioned there, but if you’re looking for something in one of those old posts, feel free to use the search bar at right to find it.

Psst! Didja catch that? There’s a search bar! (more…)

Been a while since the Site Talk block’s been updated, eh? I guess there really hasn’t been much to say! You might’ve noticed a bit of slowdown after a series of pretty regular updates, but we’re still around — just been kinda busy as of late with… stuff. Thanks for bearing with us!

So… big things planned! Okay, not huge, but I’m still hoping to get the official SC blog up pretty soon, as well as maybe start selling a tiny bit o’ merch from Cafepress or somewhere. More fiction pieces here and there, and hopefully more longer articles. If I can find the time. 🙂 Take care, minna-san!

Last time, another Scary-Crayon feature debuted as we brought you the very first Crayon Song Parody. Today, we continue that trend of firsts by offering fiction! Yes, fiction — a short story by Wes entitled “Two Minutes on the Metro”. Do send an e-mail and let us know what you think, okay?

What ever will Scary-Crayon come up with next? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!  😀

Greetings, crayon fans! Today we bring you yet another video game review — this time of Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Dance Party of the Century. If you’ve ever wanted to shake your groove thang with the Olsen twins, now you know the game to own.

Also, the Links section below has been updated with the additions of Alligator Juice and Culture Freak. They’re both relevant sites with a lot of interesting content, so be sure to give them a read when you’re not hanging with us at Scary-Crayon.  😉

Howdy! Sorry about the apparent lack of updates this past week, but I assure you I’ve been hard at work on the site. I mean sure, it looks the same, but I’ve actually redone the main and archive pages in CSS, with a bit of PHP thrown in for good measure! I’m pretty sure everything’s working alright with the new code and whatnot, but do drop a line if you notice anything out of the ordinary. And now that I’m finished with these behind the scenes updates, content should resume its normal flow before too long! And look, here’s A Crayon Haiku #28! Mmm, mmm… good?

So April Fool’s Day has come and gone — hope you enjoyed Scary-Crayon’s gag layout. (For the folks that missed it, check it out here!) But enough of this foolishness — today it’s back to business as usual with Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #36! Enjoy, and we’ll see y’all next time.  🙂

I fucking hate that bitch.  😛

Hey folks! Hope your March weather has been better than mine — they say it comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, but in my neck of the woods I’m thinking that must be one extremely depressed lamb because he’s been bawling his eyeballs out and thrashing around like crazy. Poor feller.

So, new piece today — the dark and slightly depressing Cereal Noir. I’d initially intended to post it on Easter too, but that might’ve caused some folks to read a little too much into the piece. Anyway, enjoy!

And in other news, I finally got my new personal site/blog finished and open to the public, so feel free to visit me over at WESOTERIC. I talk a lot about SC over there (among other things), but it’s not officially affiliated with SC. Or I guess it is affiliated with SC, given that they’re both under my direction, but they’re two distinct sites. I’ve replaced the old Blog of Wes graphic with a link to Wesoteric — I know, it’s a little big for the sidebar, but it’s all I’ve got on hand right now. I’ll make a smaller one in time.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. As always, I’ll have new content for you every few days or so. And speaking of blogs, an official Scary-Crayon blog is in the works, not to mention SC merch. So stay tuned!

Greetings, crayon fans — hope all’s been well with y’all! In addition to Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #26 — possibly the most controversial and/or potentially offensive one we’ve done yet! — we have for you Scary-Crayon’s first PS2 game review, not so affectionately dubbed “Ted’s Bogus PS2 Adventure”. Woo. And as always, I’ve got more wacky content planned for the site that you absolutely do not want to miss (nod your head; of course you don’t), so stay tuned to this crayon channel!  😀

Two new articles today — a Foodstuffs review of the Forkless Gourmet’s Kung Pao Shrimp Bun Meal and, at long last, the fifth installment of Dusty Plastic HELL! Alas, it’s not the continuation of Krang’s quest for a body, but a serious comic about Black Whack History Month — probably the most serious thing on SC. Anyway, enjoy!  ^^;

We’re back! For Scary-Crayon’s V-Day return, we’ve got two new short pieces for you — a special Valentine’s Day edition of A Crayon Haiku and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #20, which tells the love story of Harold and Maude in six frames. Enjoy!

Greetings all! Sorry to disappoint, but I’m skipping out of town for a few days so I wouldn’t expect any new updates for a week and a half or so. I know, I know, but I’ve left you with three short pieces to keep you busy for all of three or four minutes — A Crayon Haiku #22 and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flashes #18 and #19. Yeah, it’s not much, but there’s plenty of stuff in the section archives to look over while I’m gone. Enjoy! I’ll be back with more insanity before you know it. Ja.  🙂

And joining A Random Lunch #8, up goes the tribute article in the final minutes of January 25! I did say check back later today, didn’t I?  😉  See you next time!

That’s right! One year ago on this very day, Scary-Crayon first opened its virtual doors to this great wide ‘net and dared to try to entertain the masses with its special brand of wacky humor. To mark the occasion, then, we’ve got SC’s first ever music CD review and one last adventure with Red Lobster. But that’s not all, friends — check back later today for a special tribute article and a brand new Random Lunch!  😀

Last call for reader testimonials, photos, and such for Scary-Crayon’s first birthday and one year anniversary on January 25! We’d very much appreciate any praises, stories, and encouraging words you’d care to share, so see the posts below for more info and send stuff to us here! THANKS!  😀

See you in four days, minna-san! And bring your party hats and dancing shoes, ok?  😉