Hi folks! If you’ve been reading this column at all, you know that there’s only one more week until Scary-Crayon celebrates its one-year birthday and/or anniversary on January 25th! So please send over your testimonials and photos to help us mark the occasion — whether you’ve got gushing praises for the site, anecdotes about what you were doing when you first came to SC, weepy and heartfelt poetry about how SC changed your life, thoughts about your favorite SC article and the reasons you like it so much, or especially photos of yourself posing with crayons and/or other related paraphernalia (e.g. action figures), or some other things not mentioned here, we want ’em! Send them here, please. Thanks!  🙂

Also, let’s give a warm welcome to Bacardi, who recently joined such beloved pets as Smudge and the late Duncan MacPhish by making his first appearance on the site in “Bacardi in Wonderland”! Sadly, Duncan is gone, but Bacardi will be back for more fun on SC! Watch for him!

Hihi in 2005, everybody! Natch, I meant to have A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year up on the first, but things got kinda crazy and I just got it up now. Sorry for the delay, and for not posting the fourth and final part of our Christmas with Gumby review yet! Thanks for your patience, children. And yes, I am feeling better. Thanks for asking!

Next up, our pal tOkKa at terrible2z.com has created a Triceraton link button for the site! So in addition to the others at the bottom of the sidebar, you can also use this one to link us. Thanks, tOkKa!  😀

And like I said last time, Scary-Crayon’s first birthday/anniversary is coming up on the 25th! If you’ve enjoyed our content over the past year please SHOW US TEH <3 with well-wishes and photos of your sexy selves posing with crayon powaa! And I hope you’ll keep rockin’ with us in 2005.  😉

Okay, that does it for today’s holiday updates, but we’ve still got Part 4 of our Christmas with Gumby review on deck, not to mention another illustrated holiday story in the vein of our Pan article from a ways back. Take it from me — everything you think you know about Santa’s origins is a lie. Stay tuned for the true story.

Also, one month from today will be Scary-Crayon‘s one year anniversary and first birthday! I’ll mention it again before then, but feel free to start e-mailing us well-wishes for a potential fan testimonial piece. Photos of fans (i.e., you!) holding crayons and the like would be nice, too. And as always, donations are welcome.  😉

MELLY KURISUMASU, minna-san! As you can see, I’m running late with these holiday pieces — so, like Christmas decorations that people don’t take down until the first third week of January, Scary-Crayon will keep the holiday theme running a mite longer. If you want to know just why I’ve been unable to get these up on time (excuses, excuses), stay tuned for the next Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash. In the meantime, here’s the conclusion to the mischief seen in HF #13, but stay tuned! I should have more updates posted before the holiday comes to an end.  🙂

Wow, it’s been 11 days since the last update! Apologies for the lull. But for today, we’ve got the first of several planned holiday articles — our review of Gumby’s “Christmas Carol”! It’s the first of four shorts on the Christmas with Gumby DVD, and yes, we do plan to review them all before next week is up. I’ve also got a few original pieces planned, but I wouldn’t bet that they’ll be finished by Christmas… which just means that they’ll be late. Hell, this is Scary-Crayon! We’ve been known to post Christmas articles in February.

And once again, HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM SCARY-CRAYON!!! Festive text ROCKS.

NEW ARTICLE!!! Yeah, it’s been a while, but Scary-Crayon finally has a new written piece up. In fact, it’s entirely written, as it has no images! It’s actually a little insightful, too. Still, hopefully this is the start of a return to normalcy at SC… if it even makes sense to use the word “normal” around here. That doesn’t mean the Hot Flashes will be leaving, though — in fact, we’ve got another of those for you today as well!

Also, the Links block below has been updated with two new links — Platypus Comix and (finally) tOkKa’s terrible2z.com! Also, the link to Poprocks & Coke has been switched to Progressive Boink, since Mike Fireball recently joined the team there. Hope you’re enjoying your new home, mate!

So that does it for this update — see y’all next time. And HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM SCARY-CRAYON!!!  😀

HAPPY TURKEY DAY, EVERYONE!!! As millions of Americans give thanks by stuffing their faces and making themselves even fucking fatter than they already are, millions more people around the world starve to death with each passing second. Fuck this holiday, man! I want presents.  🙁

I’m really sorry about the lack of substantial content, everyone — I’ve been working so bloody much (and trying rather pitifully to participate in National Novel Writing Month) that I haven’t had time for anything except the Hot Flash comics. Hopefully you’ve derived some enjoyment from them. Just wanted to let you know that, eventually, there will be articles again. Soon. I hope. Anyway, until next time, be good to yourselves… and each other.

Fuck, I wasn’t sure I’d make it. I mean, damn, one day away. Cutting it kinda close. But it’s up! So without further ado, enjoy Scary-Crayon’s ELECTION 2004!!!

Quick update. First, perceptive readers will notice that I’ve changed the header text in the articles block — “Leave in Pieces” didn’t make much sense to me. And of course we’ve got Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #4! Enjoy! And assuming that work doesn’t kill me and I actually find the time, I hope to have an election special up in the next few days. So stay tuned to Scary-Crayon!

As you can see, the new layout is up! Give us a shout if you like it. Or if you don’t. Or if something’s not working right. Mmmkay? We’ve got a couple of new pieces too, so be sure to check those out. And thanks for continuing to visit Scary-Crayon!

Psst… for all three of you who actually read what I write in this block, here’s a sneak preview of SC’s slightly new and improved layout. It probably won’t go up for another week or so, but other than having graphics for header text and a few other minor changes (for example, the complete removal of the Section Archives block), it’ll look just like that. Click any of the non-working links (indicated by the strikethrough) to come back here. And please send me an e-mail if you have problems viewing the pages. Thanks!

FINALLY, we’ve got a new article up — He’s Not Fucking Into You — which also inadvertently contains a preview of the site’s updated look. I just haven’t gotten around to updating the main and archive pages yet. 😛 Anyway, stay tuned for that! And for more content and stuff, too.

Hey all! Wes here. I won’t be around to update the site next week, hence today’s massive update — in addition to A Crayon Haiku #16 and Crayon Poetry Corner: RE2 Edition (the latter of which, like A Crayon Haiku: RE2 Edition, is part of our Resident Evil: Apocalypse tie-in), we’ve got two new food pieces that you just have to try for yourselves — THE SANDWICH THAT PETRIFIES THE GODS and the culinary creation I have no doubt will become a snacktime favorite of TMNT fans over 21 everywhere, Turtle Spew. So y’all enjoy, and I’ll see you in a week or so.  🙂

HELLO! In addition to the new pieces at left, we’ve got five new additions to the links block below: Krazy Larry, Dyslexic Penguin, Poprocks & Coke, qwantz.com (daily dinosaur comics), and Huffin and Puffin. They’re certainly worth checking out (or as much as any of these kinds of sites are worth checking out, I guess), so check ’em out when you get the chance.

And as we’ve said before, feedback is always welcome! Just a reminder.  😛

Swapped the position of the Section Archives block with that of the Site Talk block in an attempt to make the latter more visible. Please read it now. 🙂

Wes here. First of all, I’d like everyone to welcome Jax to Scary-Crayon! Her first piece for us is a poem entitled “Joan of Arc”. Hopefully she’ll stick around to contribute more in the future. Anyway, glad to have you on board, Jax. 🙂

Next point, towards the bottom of the links I’ve added a graphic link to my personal blog. The plans for a Scary-Crayon blog are in the works — I’ve just gotta find someone willing to code a blog for me or learn how to do it myself (volunteers, anyone?), since I’d kinda like SC to remain “independent” and not have certain sections of it “powered by Movable Type” and whatnot. But until that happens, you’ve got my blog — it’s not officially part of the site, but until the official SC blog goes up mine’s the closest thing to it.

Aaaand one more thing. Would anyone be interested in ordering Scary-Crayon merchandise (t-shirts, hats, mugs, etc.) or getting original drawings from your humble webmaster? Stuff like that? Send an e-mail and let me know. Hell, send me an e-mail anyway, assuming anyone even reads this column. I want to do a reader mail piece, but I don’t have enough for that yet. By the way, that special request for donations still stands. 😛

Hey folks, welcome (or welcome back) to Scary-Crayon! Things have been… wild over here in the past few days with the Stupid Internet Ads! piece having been linked on Metafilter, Adrants, and even CollegeHumor.com. (By the way, if anyone responsible is reading, we appreciate the plugs.) So. The good news? Gobs of incoming traffic for SC. We <3 traffic. The bad news? We’ve exceeded our set bandwidth for the billing period and are now into overtime and extra fees.

So yeah, if you’re feeling generous, we’d really appreciate it… 😉 Whatever you can spare is fine. Or if you can’t spare anything, that’s fine too! But do feel free to e-mail an encouraging word or two…