''Blogs are not frogs.''
April 19, 2005
Dancing with the Olsen Twins!

Greetings, crayon fans! Today we bring you yet another video game review — this time of Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Dance Party of the Century. If you’ve ever wanted to shake your groove thang with the Olsen twins, now you know the game to own.

Also, the Links section below has been updated with the additions of Alligator Juice and Culture Freak. They’re both relevant sites with a lot of interesting content, so be sure to give them a read when you’re not hanging with us at Scary-Crayon.  😉

-posted by Wes | 7:19 am | Comments (4)
April 7, 2005
Invisible CSS updates!

Howdy! Sorry about the apparent lack of updates this past week, but I assure you I’ve been hard at work on the site. I mean sure, it looks the same, but I’ve actually redone the main and archive pages in CSS, with a bit of PHP thrown in for good measure! I’m pretty sure everything’s working alright with the new code and whatnot, but do drop a line if you notice anything out of the ordinary. And now that I’m finished with these behind the scenes updates, content should resume its normal flow before too long! And look, here’s A Crayon Haiku #28! Mmm, mmm… good?

-posted by Wes | 5:23 pm | Comments (0)
April 2, 2005
April Fool’s Day, DPH: Hot Flash #36

So April Fool’s Day has come and gone — hope you enjoyed Scary-Crayon’s gag layout. (For the folks that missed it, check it out here!) But enough of this foolishness — today it’s back to business as usual with Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #36! Enjoy, and we’ll see y’all next time.  🙂

-posted by Wes | 12:00 pm | Comments (0)
April 1, 2005

I fucking hate that bitch.  😛

-posted by Wes | 3:55 pm | Comments (0)
March 30, 2005
Dark and depressing Cereal Noir.

Hey folks! Hope your March weather has been better than mine — they say it comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, but in my neck of the woods I’m thinking that must be one extremely depressed lamb because he’s been bawling his eyeballs out and thrashing around like crazy. Poor feller.

So, new piece today — the dark and slightly depressing Cereal Noir. I’d initially intended to post it on Easter too, but that might’ve caused some folks to read a little too much into the piece. Anyway, enjoy!

And in other news, I finally got my new personal site/blog finished and open to the public, so feel free to visit me over at WESOTERIC. I talk a lot about SC over there (among other things), but it’s not officially affiliated with SC. Or I guess it is affiliated with SC, given that they’re both under my direction, but they’re two distinct sites. I’ve replaced the old Blog of Wes graphic with a link to Wesoteric — I know, it’s a little big for the sidebar, but it’s all I’ve got on hand right now. I’ll make a smaller one in time.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. As always, I’ll have new content for you every few days or so. And speaking of blogs, an official Scary-Crayon blog is in the works, not to mention SC merch. So stay tuned!

-posted by Wes | 6:06 am | Comments (0)
March 9, 2005
Clara and Constantine.

Greetings, crayon fans — hope all’s been well with y’all! In addition to Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #26 — possibly the most controversial and/or potentially offensive one we’ve done yet! — we have for you Scary-Crayon’s first PS2 game review, not so affectionately dubbed “Ted’s Bogus PS2 Adventure”. Woo. And as always, I’ve got more wacky content planned for the site that you absolutely do not want to miss (nod your head; of course you don’t), so stay tuned to this crayon channel!  😀

-posted by Wes | 1:13 am | Comments (0)
February 22, 2005
Kung Pao Shrimp and Whack History Month!

Two new articles today — a Foodstuffs review of the Forkless Gourmet’s Kung Pao Shrimp Bun Meal and, at long last, the fifth installment of Dusty Plastic HELL! Alas, it’s not the continuation of Krang’s quest for a body, but a serious comic about Black Whack History Month — probably the most serious thing on SC. Anyway, enjoy!  ^^;

-posted by Wes | 5:26 pm | Comments (0)
February 14, 2005
Happy Valentine’s Day!

We’re back! For Scary-Crayon’s V-Day return, we’ve got two new short pieces for you — a special Valentine’s Day edition of A Crayon Haiku and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #20, which tells the love story of Harold and Maude in six frames. Enjoy!

-posted by Wes | 2:22 pm | Comments (0)
February 2, 2005
Seeya when I seeya!

Greetings all! Sorry to disappoint, but I’m skipping out of town for a few days so I wouldn’t expect any new updates for a week and a half or so. I know, I know, but I’ve left you with three short pieces to keep you busy for all of three or four minutes — A Crayon Haiku #22 and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flashes #18 and #19. Yeah, it’s not much, but there’s plenty of stuff in the section archives to look over while I’m gone. Enjoy! I’ll be back with more insanity before you know it. Ja.  🙂

-posted by Wes | 7:31 am | Comments (0)
January 25, 2005

And joining A Random Lunch #8, up goes the tribute article in the final minutes of January 25! I did say check back later today, didn’t I?  😉  See you next time!

-posted by Wes | 11:53 pm | Comments (0)

That’s right! One year ago on this very day, Scary-Crayon first opened its virtual doors to this great wide ‘net and dared to try to entertain the masses with its special brand of wacky humor. To mark the occasion, then, we’ve got SC’s first ever music CD review and one last adventure with Red Lobster. But that’s not all, friends — check back later today for a special tribute article and a brand new Random Lunch!  😀

-posted by Wes | 9:46 am | Comments (0)
January 21, 2005
Last call!

Last call for reader testimonials, photos, and such for Scary-Crayon’s first birthday and one year anniversary on January 25! We’d very much appreciate any praises, stories, and encouraging words you’d care to share, so see the posts below for more info and send stuff to us here! THANKS!  😀

See you in four days, minna-san! And bring your party hats and dancing shoes, ok?  😉

-posted by Wes | 10:53 pm | Comments (0)
January 18, 2005
The debut of Bacardi Silver!

Hi folks! If you’ve been reading this column at all, you know that there’s only one more week until Scary-Crayon celebrates its one-year birthday and/or anniversary on January 25th! So please send over your testimonials and photos to help us mark the occasion — whether you’ve got gushing praises for the site, anecdotes about what you were doing when you first came to SC, weepy and heartfelt poetry about how SC changed your life, thoughts about your favorite SC article and the reasons you like it so much, or especially photos of yourself posing with crayons and/or other related paraphernalia (e.g. action figures), or some other things not mentioned here, we want ’em! Send them here, please. Thanks!  🙂

Also, let’s give a warm welcome to Bacardi, who recently joined such beloved pets as Smudge and the late Duncan MacPhish by making his first appearance on the site in “Bacardi in Wonderland”! Sadly, Duncan is gone, but Bacardi will be back for more fun on SC! Watch for him!

-posted by Wes | 4:20 pm | Comments (0)
January 3, 2005
A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year!

Hihi in 2005, everybody! Natch, I meant to have A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year up on the first, but things got kinda crazy and I just got it up now. Sorry for the delay, and for not posting the fourth and final part of our Christmas with Gumby review yet! Thanks for your patience, children. And yes, I am feeling better. Thanks for asking!

A Scary-Crayon link button from tOkKa!

Next up, our pal tOkKa at has created a Triceraton link button for the site! So in addition to the others at the bottom of the sidebar, you can also use this one to link us. Thanks, tOkKa!  😀

And like I said last time, Scary-Crayon’s first birthday/anniversary is coming up on the 25th! If you’ve enjoyed our content over the past year please SHOW US TEH <3 with well-wishes and photos of your sexy selves posing with crayon powaa! And I hope you’ll keep rockin’ with us in 2005.  😉

-posted by Wes | 5:02 am | Comments (0)
December 25, 2004
And to all a good night!

Okay, that does it for today’s holiday updates, but we’ve still got Part 4 of our Christmas with Gumby review on deck, not to mention another illustrated holiday story in the vein of our Pan article from a ways back. Take it from me — everything you think you know about Santa’s origins is a lie. Stay tuned for the true story.

Also, one month from today will be Scary-Crayon‘s one year anniversary and first birthday! I’ll mention it again before then, but feel free to start e-mailing us well-wishes for a potential fan testimonial piece. Photos of fans (i.e., you!) holding crayons and the like would be nice, too. And as always, donations are welcome.  😉

-posted by Wes | 9:35 pm | Comments (0)
DPH: Hot Flash #14… and stay tuned!

MELLY KURISUMASU, minna-san! As you can see, I’m running late with these holiday pieces — so, like Christmas decorations that people don’t take down until the first third week of January, Scary-Crayon will keep the holiday theme running a mite longer. If you want to know just why I’ve been unable to get these up on time (excuses, excuses), stay tuned for the next Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash. In the meantime, here’s the conclusion to the mischief seen in HF #13, but stay tuned! I should have more updates posted before the holiday comes to an end.  🙂

-posted by Wes | 9:10 am | Comments (0)
December 17, 2004
Christmas with Gumby, part 1!

Wow, it’s been 11 days since the last update! Apologies for the lull. But for today, we’ve got the first of several planned holiday articles — our review of Gumby’s “Christmas Carol”! It’s the first of four shorts on the Christmas with Gumby DVD, and yes, we do plan to review them all before next week is up. I’ve also got a few original pieces planned, but I wouldn’t bet that they’ll be finished by Christmas… which just means that they’ll be late. Hell, this is Scary-Crayon! We’ve been known to post Christmas articles in February.

And once again, HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM SCARY-CRAYON!!! Festive text ROCKS.

-posted by Wes | 3:18 pm | Comments (0)
December 6, 2004
Write a 50K word novel in a month!

NEW ARTICLE!!! Yeah, it’s been a while, but Scary-Crayon finally has a new written piece up. In fact, it’s entirely written, as it has no images! It’s actually a little insightful, too. Still, hopefully this is the start of a return to normalcy at SC… if it even makes sense to use the word “normal” around here. That doesn’t mean the Hot Flashes will be leaving, though — in fact, we’ve got another of those for you today as well!

Also, the Links block below has been updated with two new links — Platypus Comix and (finally) tOkKa’s! Also, the link to Poprocks & Coke has been switched to Progressive Boink, since Mike Fireball recently joined the team there. Hope you’re enjoying your new home, mate!

So that does it for this update — see y’all next time. And HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM SCARY-CRAYON!!!  😀

-posted by Wes | 7:07 pm | Comments (0)
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