''Blogs are not frogs.''
November 29, 2011
No, no… we are not bronies here.

We do, however, watch "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" and buy freaking pony toys against our better judgment -- and that includes knockoff varieties like the Pony Tails Collection figured from Lanard Toys... as seen in today's review! I could write more about it here, but really the article (all nearly 2K words of it) pretty much says all I wanted to say and far too much more about an adorable toy pony with brushable creamsicle hair. It really is adorable, damn it.

I now sincerely want a Pony Tails Collection unicorn.

Oh, by the way -- since I've gotten into the show and been reading stuff on the 'net, I've found a lot of older (male?) fans complaining about the nature of the toys. Not about the lack of articulation -- that I can understand, and I look forward to purchasing Shine Bright Rarity very soon -- but about the fact that the hair on the toys (save the gift set figures and the figurine collection offerings) is rooted rather than molded. What the hell, people. IT'S A MY LITTLE PONY TOY, FOR FREAK'S SAKE! I'm still a little miffed about the Masters of the Universe Classics She-Ra figures not coming with alternate heads with rooted hair, but there's no way I'd tolerate My Little Pony toys not having it. What good is a My Little Pony whose hair you can't brush?! And, unless Hasbro made the hair out of really pliable plastic, sculpted hair would prevent the basic ponies from fully utilizing the sole point of articulation they actually have!

I swear, you fanboys would rob me of every single fleeting joy in my life if you could. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

-posted by Wes | 9:20 pm | Comments (6)
September 15, 2011
A quick HELLside comic and a vinyl toy review!

The days between Scary-Crayon updates are long... but we're finally back with some fresh content for you!

First up: Dusty Plastic HELLside #27, featuring Pinkie Pie and a couple of aliens from Dollar Tree. I can't tell you how much I like these guys -- at least not now; I may review them in the near future -- but perhaps the fact that I've bought at least six or so of them will sufficiently convey my enthusiasm for the moment. Really cool figures for a buck, despite their apparent cheapness. And Pinkie Pie! This figure isn't as awesome as it could be (memo to Hasbro: make superarticulated ponies!), but the articulated legs are a step in the right direction.

Next: a review of one of Creatology's Halloween vinyl decorating figures. With Articulated Discussion sadly departed, I'm itching to post more toy-related content (presently most of my comments end up on TheFwoosh's message boards) -- but I'm not anxious to return to writing highly technical toy reviews for SC, even though I'll probably end up reposting my AD pieces here at some point just to give them a home on the web. I'm still in a tedious toy review mode, but this is more along the lines of what I'd like to post: still a good look at the toy, but not quite as long-winded or thorough as my AD reviews. That there's not a detailed sculpt or paint job on this figure probably helped in that respect, but I could see being even less technical in the future. I'd also like to be funnier, but -- as nifty as the lil pumpkin head is -- he just didn't make me laugh. Maybe Pinkie Pie or the aliens would be different!

And yes, if/when I get around to customizing this fella, I'll be sure to share that with y'all. Right now I'm thinking it could be a cute version of Sam from Trick 'r Treat, but if I can't find that bat it'll end up being a pumpkin-headed Wes. ๐Ÿ˜›

And now some shout outs! During SC's hiatus period, we've been lucky enough to receive donations from two kind readers: Cynlee of TMNT fandom fame and longtime reader Josh. Thanks so much to both of you! Thanks also to the handful of people who've commented and/or sent e-mails in recent months: even though I haven't responded directly to all of these messages, I definitely do read them and appreciate hearing from you. And thanks to the rest of you readers for sticking with us and/or just stopping by to check out our content. ๐Ÿ™‚

That'll do it for this update, then. No promises for next time -- but as always, I hope it'll be sooner rather than later! Until then, all my best.

-posted by Wes | 2:55 am | Comments (4)
August 5, 2011
Hey, at least you’re not being ripped in half…

Dusty Plastic HELLside #26 assigns the blame to Optimus, but really Jazz should be taking this up with me! (If, you know, toys were alive and had beef regarding their relocation to the storage bin and all that.)

See, I'm that guy on toy forums who's always happy to voice any excuse not to buy a figure -- and whereas other collectors tend to harp on sculpt, paints, and other stuff, for me that reason usually comes down to cost. I'm sure other collectors find it annoying at times, especially given how willing some of them are to plunk down ridiculous amounts of money for figures (I think this willingness is even more prevalent among Transformers collectors, what with super expensive third-party offerings and all that jazz), but I happen to think my comments are representative of a certain class of collector whose voice also deserves to be heard.

(If that class spoke louder -- as opposed to the guys who proclaim their willingness to pay even $30 for action figures and the collectors who show how much they're willing to pay by patronizing scalpers on eBay -- maybe we wouldn't be seeing such a sharp increase in toy prices right now. Yes, oil prices and the rising cost of Chinese labor and the sorry state of the US economy have something to do with it, but in general companies are going to charge whatever they think they can get away with. Which is why we're seeing Mattel charging $10 for 4.25" figures with less articulation than TMNT figures had over two decades ago. Sure, the Young Justice figures are a terrible value compared to every other figure of comparable size in the toy aisle (hell, there are 6" Spider-Man figures with Marvel Legends articulation going for $10.99), but Mattel's had quite a bit of success raping DC collectors with its Justice League Unlimited and DC Universe Classics lines. Why stop now?)

Anyway, I'd heard time and time again how great the Transformers Reveal the Shield Special Ops Jazz is, but I wasn't interested in the new figure because my G1 repaint of movie Jazz had the G1 Jazz slot filled in my collection. Every time I mentioned this, multiple collectors would tell me about how that Jazz wasn't really G1 Jazz, or that the new figure was so much better than the movie repaint, etc. For me, though, it really came down to whether I felt like spending $13-15 for an update of a toy that I was fairly satisfied with. Yes, I'd grant that the new Jazz looked to be better than the movie repaint -- but for me, in almost all cases, a toy I already own trumps one that will cost me an additional $13-15 to purchase.

Halve the price, however, and I become a lot more interested! So when I found the new Jazz for $6.99 in Ross, the poor movie G1 repaint didn't really stand a chance.

Aaaand thanks for reading that really long tangential explanation of a comic that didn't really require it at all! That's how we do things at Scary-Crayon, yes'm. ๐Ÿ˜›

-posted by Wes | 8:03 am | Comments (1)
August 2, 2011
Scary-Crayon reviews Stake Land!

The Powers That Be were kind enough to send along a review copy of Stake Land -- which just came out on DVD today -- so here's my review of the film. It's definitely worth a look if you're into horror movies with meaning, though admittedly I have a hard time advising folks on renting or buying these days. It was one thing when rentals were $5 and you could only keep the film a few days... but now, with subscriptions and extended rental times and all that, it's pretty difficult. If you're at all interested in film or writing, you'll definitely want to hang onto the movie long enough to check out the commentaries! And maybe the featurettes and other stuff, too. My review copy wasn't the 2-disc special edition, so I can't say much about what it includes.

Anyway, give the review a read, and check out Stake Land if it seems like your kind of thing. See you next time! ๐Ÿ™‚

-posted by Wes | 10:23 pm | Comments (1)
July 15, 2011
Tales from the Dusty Plastic HELLside!

Aaaaaand, yeah, I'm not even going to bother with excuses. We've been gone a while; we're back today; hopefully we'll stick around for a bit. I do still have lots of nifty Scary-Crayon content queued up, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll post it anytime soon.

CASE IN POINT: Dusty Plastic HELLside #24. I've been sitting on this for a while -- since before "The Doctor's Wife" even aired, and that was back on May 14th. I recreated the scene based on the "Doctor Who" Series 6 trailer. In the actual episode, the line didn't play out as well... it sort of came out of nowhere, and at a time when you wouldn't expect a line like that out of the villain unless perhaps it fed on fear and wasn't getting enough. That said, it sounded a bit silly even without any context, and I thought of this shortly after I heard it. FEAR HIM indeed.

Dusty Plastic HELLside #25 is fairly new, though! Our pal Bacardi visited recently, and while I was photographing us together I got it into my head to shoot a quick comic. Bacardi HATES having his picture taken, but he was a pretty good sport for this round... even if he was not amused by our mock dialogue. ๐Ÿ˜‰ And, yes, there's another "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" reference. I SO loved that show. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 10:48 am | Comments (3)
April 15, 2011

Back again with a quick comic: Dusty Plastic HELLside #23! More of these to come, with (hopefully) more substantial content to follow. Not necessarily in that order...

-posted by Wes | 1:26 pm | Comments (2)
April 6, 2011
Monte wants an action figure resurrection!

Or at least he does for ten (eleven) properties of yesteryear. Find out why in Ten Properties That Deserve an Action Figure Resurrection, the latest contribution from Monte Williams of Geek Creek fame. He previously wrote about G.I. Joe Sigma Six valentines for the SC, and we're glad to feature his work again! Your insights are always welcome here, sir. ๐Ÿ™‚

Show Monte some love, and hopefully we'll be back with new content sooner rather than later.

-posted by Wes | 12:22 am | Comments (12)
April 1, 2011
Another Oprah magazine cover review!

I think I said ages ago that I'd never do another one of these again -- or maybe I didn't! I sincerely hope I didn't, because I've truly seen the divine light and greatness that Oprah has to offer all of us with the amazing and wonderfully wise words packed into each and every single issue of "O, The Oprah Magazine." Accordingly, I've written a full (cover) review of the April 2011 issue so that you can (sort of) see for yourself how fantastic this publication is! OWN is the perfect acronym for her network, for she truly possesses -- that is owns -- every characteristic that is worth having and selflessly shares those qualities with us through her magazine. All hail Oprah Winfrey! We definitely should not despise and reject her offerings as meaningless, asinine trash, because we would be oh so wrong to do so.

In other news, on Articulated Discussion, I reviewed the baby Jesus.

-posted by Wes | 8:33 pm | Comments (3)
February 18, 2011
He’s the Juggernaut, b*tch!

More stuff to come in the near future, but in the meantime here's Dusty Plastic HELLside #22 -- which features the debut of the Marvel Select Juggernaut figure on Scary-Crayon! Fantastic figure, even if mine did have a pretty lame factory error that required a bit of boiling and popping and hacking and dremeling on my part to fix. He's mostly good now -- so yay! -- but I'll have to dock him for it whenever I get around to reviewing him for Articulated Discussion.

Speaking of which, I've got a new toy review over there -- of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Power Up Green Ranger -- so check it out! And stay tuned to SC, since I should have more reviews here soon, too. Lots of stuff is in the queue, but I'm thinking about Foodstuffs and Spectare to start. What say you?

-posted by Wes | 7:29 pm | Comments (3)
January 28, 2011
I don’t think this song is about me…

So I was originally going to post another Foodstuffs entry or two to cap off the Scary-Crayon anniversary week "celebration," but then I remembered this article I'd wanted to do for a while -- and I figured if any time were appropriate for an introspective piece concerning the webmaster's desires and whatnot, it's now. Right? So here's the Wes Portrait Project, which includes a discussion of that topic as well as a bunch of drawings of me... because yeah, that's what the project largely entails. I'm very curious to know your thoughts on it!

More food articles to come in the near future, yep yep.

-posted by Wes | 11:47 pm | Comments (4)
January 25, 2011
The Scary-Crayon Wasabitini is delicious.

So this isn't quite as exciting as it's been in previous years... but today is Scary-Crayon's anniversary, and I couldn't let it pass without posting a new article! And we'll have at least another and possibly two more in the coming days, so let's call it a week-long celebration. Eh? Eh?

And speaking of celebrating, why not ring in SC's seventh anniversary with a drink? Today's article -- The Scary-Crayon Wasabitini -- suggests a delicious cocktail for the occasion. Please do try it sometime, and let us know what you think! I've also found Pinnacle Cotton Candy Vodka to be fairly tasty in a lot of mixed drinks -- it's hardly cloying (unlike triple sec; some folks like it in wasabitinis but I most certainly do not), but the hint of sugar that's there is enough to enhance many cocktails that call for vodka. A touch of sweetness even adds to a Bloody Mary, in my opinion.

Alrighty, then. Rah-rah, happy birthday to Scary-Crayon! We'll see you again soon. ๐Ÿ™‚

-posted by Wes | 7:10 pm | Comments (0)
January 16, 2011
New article: V for Vitriol!

Hey, all! It's been a while... hope you had a happy 2010 holiday season and that 2011 is off to a great start for you. Anyway, Scary-Crayon is back -- at least for the moment! And to that end we've got a new article, V for Vitriol, which is about the 2009 "V" television series and why it kinda sucks. There's a brief discussion of the 1983-85 series as it compares to the new show, too.

I'll make no promises regarding future content. SC will remain active while breath animates my fingers as they fly across the keyboard and manipulate the mouse for image editing and such, though I can't say how frequently. I can, however, say that I hope the next article won't be two months away, and I hope that some of y'all out there are still with us. Thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚

-posted by Wes | 3:20 am | Comments (7)
November 9, 2010
Rainbow Brite: see the shining light!

That's right -- Rainbow Brite comes to Scary-Crayon in Dusty Plastic HELLside #21! I'd been planning to do something like this ever since I picked up the black-and-white NECA TMNT figures over the summer, and if nothing else it gave me an excuse to break out the original Mirage TMNT toys (colored masks and initialed belts notwithstanding) and open another of the Rainbow Brite dolls I snagged on clearance years ago (the first, Patty O'Green, was seen waaay back in the St. Patrick's Day-themed Peanut Butter Pesto Okra & Zucchini Pizza feature of 2005). Did anyone else enjoy Rainbow Brite as a kid? It was pretty darned awesome for a girls' cartoon -- but then, pretty much all of the girls' cartoons of the 1980s were just as good as if not better than the stuff produced for boys. The stuff they air for girls today is just sad by comparison.

Anyway, all for now! Until next time...

-posted by Wes | 2:36 am | Comments (1)
November 5, 2010
An abbreviated toy review! (More to come?)

Today's entry -- a review of Star Wars Transformers Crossovers Ahsoka Tano -- is the first toy review in a new, abbreviated format that will ideally take me less time to write and therefore allow me to update more frequently. But I won't do more of these if you don't find the format to be appealing or informative or notably flawed in some other way, so do take a moment to let me know what you think of it! And heck, let me know if you'd be comfortable with reviews abbreviated even further -- as much as I like the visual style, I could easily see dispensing with the bullet points and just going with the images and a few summative paragraphs. I'll probably do that anyway for certain kinds of toys, as I don't think certain figures (like bootlegs) warrant the full descriptive treatment. We'll see.

Should have another short Dusty Plastic HELLside comic in a few days, so stay tuned for that. Best wishes to everyone out there.

-posted by Wes | 6:46 am | Comments (2)
October 26, 2010
A new toy review and a comic to boot!

Yep, it's been a while, but we're back again! Didja miss us?

I say "us" not just because I sometimes refer to myself as a plural entity with regard to SC, but also because this time we've got a guest feature -- Dusty Plastic HELLside #20 is an action figure collage by none other than Hero of Figured Out! I was originally going to add some kind of text to the image, but I just couldn't bring myself to detract from the silent beauty of the scene. If you require something additional, just close your eyes and imagine the whooshing of air and the clanging of metal as this epic battle takes place. Drift may be outnumbered, but I'd lay odds that he'll be the one standing when the exhaust dissipates!

Moving along, we've got a new toy review as well -- an in-depth look at Dragon-Do Eclipse. As I note in the review, I've only seen this figure at the local Post Exchange at this point. Has anyone out there seen these elsewhere? I'd love to know, and what other stores are charging for them.

Okay, that's all I've got for now! I'm working on a system for abbreviated reviews (basically just the bullet points with an overall blurb at the end), which will hopefully enable me to kick them out more regularly. And I should have other non toy-related content to post before too much longer, so look for that as well. In any case -- as always -- thanks for reading!

-posted by Wes | 3:24 pm | Comments (3)
September 7, 2010
S.T.O.P. Vs. S.C.U.M. 3.75" Action Figures!

FINALLY, a full review on Scary-Crayon! I've generally been posting my toy-related writings and whatnot over at Articulated Discussion, but I just had to spotlight these crappy things here. I'm not saying I regret buying them... but I think I'd have saved my money if I had to do it again. Well, except maybe with regard to Lady Lead. I think I'm even going to get a crappy $1 motorcycle for her to ride.

Anyway, check out my stuff on Articulated Discussion (I was at the San Diego Comic-Con and Baltimore Comic-Con this year, so there's coverage of those events), yadda yadda, and hopefully I'll have more content here as well. I've actually got some things I'd like to give out as contest prizes, but first I need to come up with an idea for a contest! Perhaps my first contest should be one to see who can come up with the best contest idea. ๐Ÿ˜›

-posted by Wes | 6:29 pm | Comments (13)
July 12, 2010
Well, it’s about bloody time!!!

OMG, actual content on Scary-Crayon?!? You're not dreaming! ๐Ÿ˜€

Okay, so first we have another quick comic in Dusty Plastic HELLside #19 -- nothing fancy there, but hopefully you'll find it a bit amusing. The more substantial offering, however, is a review of The White Chamber, a freeware game from Studio Trophis. I first played this delightfully creepy gem (and took most of the screencaps for this review, incidentally) back in 2005, and it's still as enjoyable today as it was back then (though admittedly much of it seemed new to me, since I'd forgotten the solutions to the bulk of the puzzles). The current version even has German speech -- something the older one didn't -- so listening to the foreign voices made the experience even more fresh!

Anyway, the review is largely spoiler free (despite how wicked cool they look, I avoided including screencaps of the really freaky sequences so you won't be any less horrified when you encounter them in the game), so feel free to read it before you download the game... which you definitely should. It's not a long game (unless you really get stuck -- in which case Google is your friend; there are a number of walkthroughs on the web -- you'll almost certainly finish in under two hours), but it is a very fun one. Be warned, however, as The White Chamber is not for the faint of heart or the squeamish of stomach.

In other news, I've always got more content on Articulated Discussion -- recently I posted reviews of Masters of the Universe Classics She-Ra and the BioShock 2 Young Eleanor & Little Sister 2-pack over there, and I'm still doing Bootleg Tuesday (almost) every week. I'm also going to be covering a certain convention for AD soon... which should result in quite a bit of content over there and maybe a little for SC as well. We'll see!

Okay, that's all for now; hopefully I'll be back sooner rather than later! Ja --

-posted by Wes | 7:42 am | Comments (0)
June 22, 2010
The (Cyber) Shredder Strikes Back!

So it's been ages since the last update. I apologize, but I totally had a good reason! See, I got bitten by the customizing bug again... and you know I tend to disappear for a while when that happens. But my absence bore fruit, for I finally finished my Shredder custom figure! That's right -- the one I started working on back in March of last year, and that appears at a very early stage in this Crayon Haiku collection. Among other projects I've finished in the last couple of months, I also completed that Wolverine! In addition to some other recent customizing projects, expect Logan to appear on SC in the near future as well.

Shredders unite!

But today belongs to the Cyber Shredder -- and in Dusty Plastic HELLside #18, he makes his triumphant Scary-Crayon debut! This'll hardly be the last time you'll see him, though, as (much like Grodd) I'll probably find excuses to work him into a whole bunch of features and articles before I finally "retire" him to the display area. In the meantime, I'm having a blast posing and photographing the guy!

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Until next time -- which will hopefully be sooner rather than later!

-posted by Wes | 4:53 pm | Comments (4)
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